Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The best place on earth

Singapore is truly the best place on Earth.

I know it first hand.

I know, because no where else on earth can I, a young Pay-and-Pay member, earn as much money as I am earning now, just by apple-polishing and ass-licking.

And the sky's the limit, as far as my salary is concerned! Look, with just part-time boot licking, I can already pocket $20,000 per month and $200,000++ per year.

So, if one day, I succeeded in throwing away completely all the moral values my mommy taught me since young - values such as speaking up for the less-fortunate, compassion, honesty etc - I could go full time and earn a few millions a year, doing the exact same job as my counterpoarts do in other larger countries with more complex situations!

I am working hard to achieve that. Give me another 10 years, to brain-wash myself and I am sure I can make it.

Thus, I wonder why 50,000 idiots emigrated from Singapore to Australia!
WHY?????????????

They must have been goondus who are rejected by Young Pay-And-Pay, due to their stubbornness in refusing to give up their moral values!

These rejects cannot get such high salaries in Singapore, because the money that would have otherwise form part of their salaries, have to be siphoned off in the form of taxes and GST and fees, to be given to us, the ruling elites. Hence they have no choice but to emigrate to Australia.

That's really a brain drain for us. I mean, after they leave, who is going to toil and work to supply us our millions? Luckily, our big big boss got a big big idea - an idea so wild that it has never been tried anywhere else in the word - we can import foreigners to replace those who left!

So yeah, leave all you want! You guys are being replaced successfully even as I am writing now. Haha!

And those peasants! who cannot leave do not mind having foreigners replacing their leaving fellow countrymen! Foolish of them, but good for us in Young Pay-And-Pay - it's cheaper to replace you guys who left, than to change policies to attract you people to stay!

More good years with fat bonuses for us! Woohoo!

Monday, December 17, 2007

When in Rome, do as Singaporeans do!

So, SingTel thought it was still doing business in Singapore where it can have "a high degree of discretion" and its customers cannot know "where they stood"?

Excuse me, this is Autralia! And in Australia, customers have rights and citizens are kings, not peasants!

Australian regulator rejects broadband proposal led by SingTel
AP
17 Dec 07

Australia's competition watchdog Monday rejected a Singapore Telecommunications Ltd.-led plan to build a multibillion-dollar high-speed broadband network in the country, but added it would welcome a revised proposal from the group.

The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission said in a draft decision that the bid proposed by SingTel and eight other telecommunications companies did not have adequate audit mechanisms.

The undertaking gives the network owner a high degree of discretion in unilaterally determining non-price terms and conditions for the 15-year undertaking period, "without independent regulatory review," commission Chairman Graeme Samuel said in a statement.

"We could not accept so much discretion from a gas, electricity or rail firm. Access seekers would not know where they stood."

But the regulator said it was generally comfortable with the pricing structured offered by the so-called "G9" consortium, and that it was open to receiving a revised proposal...

Venture overseas for F**K? I mean, it's so difficult to adopt a different mindset when putting up proposals to overseas governments who are actually concerned about their citizens knowing "where they stood"!

And it's strange too. Why do government overseas worry so much about their citizens' well-being, especially since it is about "non-price terms and conditions". Shouldn't they just care about the price, if they want to care at all?

Look, all those non-price terms have to do with privacy issues, freedom of information, individual rights, censorship etc, right? Hey, these are of no importance to Australians or to happiness in life, and so the Australian government should not care.

And even if Australians do care about such trivial issues, why should their government heed their call? Governments are supposed to listen to themselves, and expect their citizens to obey, not the other way round! That's the way things are done in Sg, and that's the way things should be done all over the world!

I thus conclude that either their governments are very caring, or their citizens are very powerful and so can force their government to care for them or face losing an election.

Either way it is no good! Stupid Australian government! I suggest our GLCs stick to doing business in our own country. Here, we do not need to bother whether our peasants know where they squat, let alone stood!

Friday, December 14, 2007

恭喜发财

爆竹一声大地春 霹靂叭啦叭啦叭
爆竹一声大地春 霹靂叭啦叭啦叭

春風陣陣 春風陣陣
恭喜新春迎財神!

財源滾滾!財源滾滾!
四季大順亨利通!

聽那霹靂叭啦叭啦
响得那个滿村滿街城
看那霹靂叭啦叭啦
急得百鳥都來迎春神

春風陣陣 春風陣陣
恭喜新春迎財神!

財源滾滾!財源滾滾!
四季大順亨利通!


恭喜发财

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Medals

Channel NewsAsia, 05 December 2007, by Chio Su-Mei
...17 staff members at the Prime Minister's Office received their National Day Honours. The medals awarded at the ceremony were The Commendation Medal, The Efficiency Medal and The Long Service Medal. The award winners were later hosted to a reception where they mingled with Singapore's top leaders.

A total of 3,822 individuals received National Day Honours in 21 award categories this year.

I have a medal too!

I am so proud that I wear it around my collar every day. Here it is:

Ain't my medal shiny and pretty?


What a well deserved reward for my excellent performance as a dedicated Ass Licker and Apple Polisher!

(Of course, I have also received other rewards, such as money and power. But, those, we have to keep away from the public eyes, don't we? LOL)

Come! Join me in Young Pay-And-Pay! Give up your morality, logic and sense of right and wrong. Call me Sifu. I will teach you the fine art of how to carry balls without puking, how to look at old beggars and claim we are helping them with higher GST, how to say "wiow, it smells good" every time our bosses fart, and so on.

Then you , too, can receive a medal as shiny as mine!

Just one catch: you wouldn't be able to pass the medal on to your sons, daughters or descendants. They would be too ashamed to be associated with you! They would rather nobody know you are their parent or grandparents! Anyway, that's if you could have kids. Ball carriers like us who bully peasants, usually end up with no descendants i.e. 断子绝孙. But that's a small price to pay for a shiny medal, I guess.

Woof Woof!

Friday, November 23, 2007

psle

ST HILDA'S Primary pupil Natasha Nabila binte Muhamad Nasif is the top scorer in the Primary School Leaving Examination results that were released in schools at noon on Thursday.

Her aggregate score of 294 set a new record for the examinations, beating the last highest score of 292 set in 1993 by Nanyang Primary boy Justin Lau Yang Zheng.

Natasha, 12, whose father is a technician and mum, a housewife, is from the gifted education stream.

The Singapore Examinations and Assessment Board described her results as 'outstanding', as she was ahead by six points from the next two highest scorers,


Straits Times must have made a mistake!

According to a certain very wise man, when a graduate father mates with a graduate mother, they have a super high chance of producing a clever child, whereas the chance of a peasant father and a peasant mother having an intelligent offspring is near impossible.

So given such low probability, how can it be that this girl became The top PSLE scorer?

The wise man can never be wrong.

The consequence would be dire if he were wrong: we have based our taxation system - which gives substantial tax rebates to high-earning mothers - and entire statutory board such as SDU on the premise that this wise man put forward!

If he were wrong, one entire generation of peasants' kids would have been penalised for nothing; we would have enticed their parents to sterilize for nothing!

No! He is not wrong. How can he ever be? He is the one and only wise man!

Straits Times must have been wrong. Tomorrow, I will marshall our ghost writer unit to bombard its editors to be more careful next time when publishing such news that may damage our wise man's reputation. Straits Times is becoming very unruly recently. We must rein it!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Cha Cha Cha

Lim Boon Heng, Minister in charge of Ageing, dancing with former MP, Dr. Aline Wong...
...at an "aging carnival"

Ah Lao went there too. He went to pick up the rubbish they left behind:

(Note: pic was actually taken elsewhere,
but you get my point).

What a wonderful "ageing carnival".

Were you there?

I was .

We had a terrible eye-sore of a time watching our current boss and former boss danced!

Their dance were awful. Really terrible! But I was the one who clapped the loudest till both my palms were red! LOL!

Living up to my name as the top ass licker and apple polisher at Young Pay-And-Pay, I even shouted "encore" till my voice became hoarse.

Luckily, the minister did not take my request seriously. Otherwise, we would have to endure more eye sore! Haha!

After the carnival, I left immediately, making sure that I did not make eye contact with any old cleaners on the way out. I think it will still pain me a bit, if I were to see those 80 years old, cleaning up at an "ageing carnival"!

My Gong Fu is still not good enough. Seniors in Young Pay-And-Pay tell me that they don't feel any pang of guilt at all.

Hopefully, after performing more apple polishing and ass licking, whatever little morals I have will disappear. Then, in addition to being able to make eye contact, I also do not need to feel like puking when I said "encore", anymore!

Practice makes perfect.

This principle works for both apple-polishing and dancing!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Cheap! Cheap!

"Switching to cheaper products can reduce the cost of living despite a rise in the CPI." - Lim Hng Khiang, 13 Nov 07

That's one of the dumbest thing our bosses had said this year.

They are putting the wrong idea into the mind of peasants!

What if one of the peasants suddenly picked up on this idea and decided that switching to cheaper Ministers and MPs can reduce the cost of living?

Then how?

Not only will our expensive Ministers and MPs lose their $3,000,000 jobs, even we, in Young Pay-And-Pay, may lose our expensive and lucrative ass-licking and apple-polishing jobs!

Hey, Mr. Lim, stop saying such things!

We, your most humble ball-carriers, rely on the stupidity of peasants to feed our Mercedes and Rolex. The day they wake up from their stupidity, that's the day we lose our money and power.

So please, stop such LPPL message, your Highness! They will back fire on us!

Sunday, November 4, 2007

同人不同命!


This man is 85. This is his wife.

Why did NTU invite him and his wife to Singapore?

Just because he is a Nobel Prize Laureate in Physics?

How can NTU do that???

As an apple-polishing, ass-licking member of Young Pay-And-Pay, I am appalled by NTU's action. What is NTU's motive?

Don't they know that seeing such a photo is going to make an 84 years old man regret his decision of converting a commercial passenger plane into a mid-air hospital?

"Damn it! I should have left her in London"!

We shouldn't allow such politics of envy to take roots in this country!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

自相残杀

He is an activist - one who tries to steer the public towards some ideology, be it democracy or free speech. It is his job to advocate his visionary ideas even when most people do not initially support or even understand his vision. His job is to win them over to his vision, not to go along with the crowd. Such is the situation with Ghandhi of India and so on.

She is a politician - one who tries to represent the people's wishes. It is her job to speak in accordance to what the people want, nevermind moral or immoral. Thus if the majority of the people are against homosexuality or if they perceive requesting foreign support as "foreign interference in domestic politics", it is her job to agree with the people! Her job is to win votes, so as to represent the people's view in parliament, not to steer the population towards her own view and risk losing votes in the process!

Each is important in his/her own way, just as India needed both Ghandi and its PM.

Such simple things, the people in SDP and WP do not understand.

They look upon each other as enemies.

有你没有我。

They have fallen for our trap!!!

We, in young Pay-And-Pay, have succeeded in driving a wedge between the oppositions!

We did this by masquerading as WP supporters to bash SDP, and then as SDP supporters to bash WP.

We egged their genuine supporters on, and get them to bash each other!

We start the spark and join the fight, bashing both sides like double-headed snakes, without them even knowing that we are moving from side to side!

We did it!

Boss, it's time to give us a raise!

鹬蚌相争,渔翁得利!

We, young Pay-and-Pay, are very good fishermen. LOL

Monday, October 22, 2007

Dr. Chee commits treason against PAP

(pic grabbed from Lucky Tan's blog)


Just when I thought Dr. Chee's thinking was weird enough, his thought became weirder!

This time, his weird thinking got him to think that he is being a patriotic Singaporean when he speaks up against PAP.

This is his logic step by step:

1. He criticised PAP at the International Bar Association meeting in front of so many foreigners!

2. This would lead to the international community to help Singaporeans to exert pressure on PAP to open up on areas of free speech, free press, freedom to assembly etc.

3. With all these "free"s, Singaporean (not foreigners) will be able to vote in the elections with more information than what they could get from a 146th ranked newspaper

4. Such a better election system is ultimately better for Singapore.

5. Thus, his action is one of patriotism, and he is a patriotic Singaporean


Wrong!

Let me refute his weird logic in 2 simple super-logical steps:

1. PAP = Singapore. Singapore = PAP. Political Part = Country. Country = Political Party.

2. It follows from 1 that: criticise PAP = criticise Singapore = traitor = treason!

QED.


Now, contrast my logic with his. Whose logic do you think is more logical?

Mine of course!

“Of course" because people in North Korea and Mao's China subscribed to my logic too.

I have mass support (1 billion people in China during Mao's time leh) and this means I am right... though of course, there was a time when 99.99% of people thought the earth was flat and they were wrong. But that's a little fact that most people do not know. So it's ok to use the "most people think so = I am right" argument on these fools. It's one of my favourite trick argument, in fact. We in Young Pay-And-Pay use it all the time.

And wise men think alike. Andre Yeo (though not a man), thinks like me too! The above picture was what she wrote for The New Paper.


Sooooooooooooo simple! And yet Dr. Chee doesn't know! How did he get his Ph.D.?

He should learn from Andre Yeo and I. Ass Lickers and Apple polishers like us makes lots of money.

Look at Dr. Chee - he is a bankrupt!

Now isn't it better to be Andre Yeo and I -- throw all morals to the wind and suck cocks and make lots of money, and be labeled patriots...

...than to become a bankrupt and be accused of being a traitor?

Some people will say: "wait a minute. What about retribution aka Karma? Hell? Heaven?"

As I said earlier, that's rubbish! At the end of the day, we answer only to our money. There is no hell, no heaven, no karma. Our action has absolutely no consequence.

Take Karma, for example. Today I just bumped my head into the wall. I didn't even feel any pain! Got action, but no reaction. Since physical world is already like that, then it follows, on a matter of probability, that most likely the non-physical world (e.g. your evil thoughts) is also like that: got action, no reaction one lah!

Erm, the previous paragraph sounded somewhat illogical. But never mind, so long as I am not speaking against PAP, I am a patriot and patriots, no matter how illogical, will not get tekan by Andre Yeo in New Paper. Haha! So I do not need to be too careful with my words. Nobody will be suing me. Dr. Chee, on the other hand, need be very careful with his logics.

In conclusion, Dr. Chee, please stop committing treason against Singapore by criticising PAP. Please praise PAP. That will make you a patriot of PAP and therefore a patriot of Singapore!

Singapore = PAP. We must drill this into Dr. Chee's head! 66.6% of Singaporeans have already accepted that. Why can't he?

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Dr. Chee's weird thinking


I really don't understand this Dr. Chee Soon Juan.

Why does he want to do this?

What's wrong with our government doing business with Myanmar, or supplying arms to the Generals there to kill their citizens, as he alleged?

Let this Young Pay-And-Pay member tell you why there is nothing wrong!

One simple word: MONEY!

In Singapore, only one thing matters: money!

For example, if you can make money for Singapore, we will behave like whores and open our pussy for you to f**k as you please.

Thus, a German girl could have her drug charges reduced because her parents were making money for Singapore.

Thus, a Finnish man could punch a Singaporean and get off lightly in court, and subsequently be invited to lick our bosses balls in our esteemed newspaper.

Thus, a British woman could knock down and kill a korean mother and her 3 children, and pay just a fine and no jail time. That's a few years ago.

Thus, a drunk Japanese man could drink-drive and kill Mr. Hua Liang - renowed Singaporean in the Chinese cultural scene - and, yes, you guess it right, get off scot free!! That's even more years ago.

Truth is, we have been independent for 40+ years. And in that many years, we have never even once wavered from our sole focus on MONEY and MONEY only, to the exclusion of everything else!

Justice? Morals? Ethics? What are all these shit? We have no time for such things. We only have time for one thing. You got it right: MONEY!

Now, on the other hand, if you cannot make money for Singapore, we propose to ship you to Bintan. And that, my friend, is simply the latest of our long series of MONEY-only policy since our independence.

AND THE VOTERS LOVE SUCH MONEY-ONLY POLICY!

Yes, even when it affected them directly. So, what's more when it does not affect them directly?

So. let the Government continue to supply arms to Myanmar to kill those monks. There are lots of money to be made in those arm deals, you know?

I have no problem with that.

I do not believe in Karma.

That the Taliban Afghanistan government collapsed and kana attacked, almost immediately after they had defaced some religious relics, is simply a coincidence.

Holy people and objects can be defamed, murdered or destroyed. No consequence at all.

So yes, continue to do business with the Myanmar Generals, I would say. Allow them to torture citizens, kill holy monks (or priests, or Imans, or whatever. WHO CARES?)

No retribution will ever befall Singapore for being an accessory to murder.

That's because, to repeat, there is no such thing as karma, or retribution. And, for that matter, neither are there such things as morals or ethics too! How much money are morals and ethics worth? Kachang Puteh?

Money! More Money! Even more Money! That's what we in Young Pay-And-Pay stands for.

Oh, by the way, if you don't like what I say, you can always offer me $1,000,000. I can always change my tune and start praising Dr. Chee, and proceed to write a 5000 word essay on why we should distance ourselves from Myanmar.

My morality is fluid. Very fluid. How much can you pay me? That's the question, you need to ask. Nothing else matters.

Dr. Chee, on the other hand, sigh!

He obviously believes strongly that apart from money, there are such things as human decency and morality and "doing the right thing". And that all these matter more than blood money.

Wah Piang! He is so out of touch with Singapore and what Singaporeans want!

Singapore does not need people like him.

Singapore needs only money faced people like us in Young Pay-And-Pay!



P.S. If you find my logic beyond comprehension, I do apologise. I too, find this blog completely devoid of logic. Sometimes, even I laugh when I read the illogical things that I have written. But, you must understand that I laugh even more when I look at my bank account. Well, it does pay to be an obedient Ass Licker and a diligent Apple Polisher. At the end of the day, M O N E Y is really the only thing that matters. No Karma, remember? LOL

Saturday, October 6, 2007

难兄难弟

Tay Za (left, close associate of General Than Shwe), with Lim Kim Choon, director general and chief executive officer of CAAS. Taken on 7 Sep 07

"We need to keep Myanmar in the family and handle the problems there with a certain degree of understanding and compassion. Of course people who live further away can have their own views, but I believe we have a deeper understanding of the situation there, and the stand we take is the correct stand," said [Foreign Affairs Minister] Mr Yeo.

Of course! Of course!

Today, they shoot their dissidents, we show them "understanding and compassion".

Tomorrow, when it is our turn to shoot our dissidents, they will repay our "understanding and compassion" too.

You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

We and they - comrades in arms, 难兄难弟!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

I dare you!


These handsome men are my counterparts in Myanmar.

Though we are of different breed, we are all dogs - running dogs aka 走狗!

And as all good running dogs all over the world do, in peace time, we bark, and in riotous time, we bite!

One unique feature which separates us, running dogs, from you people is this: while you people have internal morality and principles , we have nothing of that sort.

我们的良心被狗吃了 被钱财与权利给淹没了。

We recognise only 2 things: One, money. Two, power. Give us some money and some power, and we will pledge our unquestionable loyalty to the giver. That is, for as long as the money and power continue our way. (The questioning part will come, when we are no longer given money or power).

For a price, we will throw morality to the wind, and do anything and everything our Masters order us to do.

Yes, that includes killing you peasants if you people dare rebel.

革命是需要流血的。

你们有种吗?

没有吧!

那就乖乖继续做奴才,替我们打工到死吧!

Stop looking to Myanmar for inspiration!!!

Those people have balls. You slaves don't!

Now, go back to work and work and work...till you drop dead.

I can tell you straightaway right now, right in your face:

No welfare means no welfare.

You can be old and sick and had contributed to the economy for the past 60 years. SO WHAT? WE DON'T FUCKING CARE!!!!

Stop bothering us with your plight, you > 85 years old 的老不死!

What has that to do with us? We are young - being from Young Pay-And-Pay! 85 years old is too far for us to imagine.

If you really want welfare, foot the bill with even more of your own money, after having paid us lots of money!

Not happy ah?

Dare to meet us in the cul-de-sac? We have our knuckle duster on. We are ready for YOU.

I dare you to rebel!

Woof! Woof!

Nonsensical quotes 3

You only have power over people so long as you don't take everything away from them. But when you've robbed a man of everything, he's no longer in your power - he's free again.”, Aleksander Solzhenitsyn, Russian novelist, dramatist and historian.


Huh? Sure or not?

I know of 4 million slaves, who have been robbed of everything. Yet they are still under our power!

Oh well, on 2nd thought, maybe we, in the Young Pay-And-Pay, define "everything" differently from these slaves.

Maybe to us, $600,000 is a peanut, and so $3,000,000 is nothing more than 5 peanuts, whereas to these slaves, to have food and lodging is already "something". And so since they all have "something", they are still under our power!

Slaves are really easy to control! LOL

More good years of power (and money) for us!

Friday, September 28, 2007

Nonsensical quotes 2

It is a paradox that every dictator has climbed to power on the ladder of free speech. Immediately on attaining power each dictator has suppressed all free speech except his own.”, Herbert Hoover, American President, 1874 - 1964

Talk cock again!

I happen to know one old man, who managed to defy this trend. He used to be the lawyer for workers and trade unions and fought for the rights of these commoners to speak up and to protest. He even made long speeches in the legislative assembly where he strongly advocated free speech and urged for democracy.

Later on, he "climbed to power on the ladder of free speech", yet he still dishes out free speech to all his citizens, none of whom need be fearful of speaking up. He had used defamation suit, but only when he was really defamed. He had shut down newspapers, but only when they really deserved to be shut down.

Thankfully, there are people like him around, to prove President Hoover wrong.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Nonsensical quotes 1

It is said that power corrupts, but actually it's more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power.”, David Brin, American science-fiction writer.

Nonsense!

My Apples and Asses have lots of power. But they are not corruptible. Neither are they insane.

But still, prevention is better than cure - better legalise corruption and pay them a few millions legally than to have then end up with one million illegally.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

原来如此!

PM Lee said: "It's a very divisive issue, our view or my view is that gayness is mostly something in-born; some people are like that and some people are not...

Funny! How would he know? How would his father know too?

I used to wonder.

But not anymore...

since I stumbled upon these photos online:

This is how he always sits

in contrast to these two male politicians...


but similar - in fact symmetrical -
to this female politician...


This is how he shakes hand...


and this is how his
super feminine wife looks like...


Aha, now I see!

Suddenly, it's all clear!

No wonder he knows what many of his biased colleagues do not know. LOL!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Oral sex

Singapore has repealed the law on oral sex among heterosexuals.

Do you know why?

Answer: That's so that Young Pay-And-Pay members like me can suck our bosses' cocks without fear!

Dear PM Lee,
Thank you for repealing this outdated law, so that we all now can suck your cock without violating the law. On behalf of Young Pay-And-Pay, I would like to commend you on your outstanding leadership and excellent performance and...

Your cock-sucking dog,
Young Pay-And-Pay

Monday, September 17, 2007

Citizen on Surveillance

Sep 16, 2007
The Straits Times
THE next time engineer Kelvin Kai goes for his evening walk or to have a drink at the coffee shop, he will also be on the lookout for suspicious-looking people in his neighbourhood.

Mr Kai, 48, is among 43 residents in the Braddell Heights area who have volunteered to take part in a neighbourhood watch programme called Citizens On Surveillance.

Under the project, resident volunteers such as Mr Kai will be trained in crime detection skills, such as how to detect suspicious persons and note down their physical characteristics.

The volunteers are also taught how to look inconspicuous while on their rounds. They are to pass any information they have gathered to the police.


I spy on you, you spy on me.
All while trying to look inconspicuous.

I report on you, you report on me
One whole nation of citizens surveillancing each other.

I am being watched everywhere I go, and I watch you everywhere you go.

It's like Nazi Germany, cultural revolution China, current North Korea.

I love such countries. Our little red dot is soooooo exciting!

For this reason alone, I will never emigrate. Quite the opposite.

I, a very "on" member of Young Pay-And-Pay, has already signed up for this program.

Fellow citizens, watch out!

I will be "on the lookout" for you while you walk, eat, shop and follow you around anywhere and everywhere. But don't worry. You won't realise you are being watched. I will be inconspicuous. The police have trained me well.

And when the police eventually stopped you, you wouldn't even know why they picked you out, out of so many people. I am inconspicuous, remember? LOL

Long Live PAP.
May you live as long as Nazi Germany, China under the cultural revolution, and North Korea did.

我悄悄监视你,你偷偷举报我。
我与你划清界限。你给我来个大义灭亲。
新加坡式文化大革命由我YPAP愤青开始!

人人做间谍,百姓狗咬狗。
监视有理,举报无罪!
监视有理,举报无罪!
Majullah PAP!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

LPPL

Every country, no matter how successful, has its share of beggars and vagrants.

What's the profile of these people?

Well, in other countries, these are almost exclusively middle-aged good-for-nothing - the drunkards, the alcoholics, the drug-abusers - and of course, the mentally unstable, and so on.

NOT ELDERLIES who deserve their golden years, having contributed to society for 40+ years!

But in unique Singapore, our beggars and vagrants are predominatly senior citizens! (Pics from sammyboy kopitiam).








Now, that's a very glaring difference between Singapore's vagrants and those of other developed countries.

The implication?

Answer: We, members of young Pay-And-Pay, would need to work harder to find better excuses to appease intelligent citizens, than to come up with cock and bull nonsense about "in every society... there will be bums, trash collectors, vagrants..."

Some people are just lousy running dogs! Useless! Coming up with nonsensical "reasons" that cannot withhold scrutiny, and sure to look bad.

Such bums should be kicked out of Young Pay-And-Pay. They are really 成事不足,败事有余! Suck cock, don't know how to suck cock; Only know how to LPPL and backfire every time and make us in Young Pay-And-Pay looks bad in the public's eyes.

They should learn from me. I always come up with fool-proof excuses for my bosses. In this case, the perfect excuses are:

- old people in other countries are lazy couch potatoes.
- old people in other countries are good for nothing aka parasites.

or resort to some personal attacks:

- Why must we imitate ang moh society? Excuse me, we are Asians. What is the colour of your skin?

Such personal attacks will throw our opponents off balance and divert the whole issue away. Always a good tatics when we have nothing better to say.

Haha!

Friday, August 24, 2007

睡懒觉


What is there to listen?

The bottom line is clear:
  • All money collected by the government is for the reserves/ GIC/ Temasek/ ministers' salaries.
  • Therefore, no money is available for senior citizens who refuse to die.
  • Therefore, to look after senior citizens, you peasants must cough up extra money, one way or the other.

Such a simple reasoning, even I, merely a member of young Pay-And-Pay, can understand in 1 minute.

No wonder our very talented ministers find it too boring to listen.

Better to catch some rest aka 睡懒觉!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thursday, August 23, 2007

拍马屁

是谁放了几小时的屁?
这么臭!!

Can the one who has been farting non-stop for the last one hour, please stop farting immediately?

For goodness sake, our poor leader had to clamp his nose shut to keep the smell out!

But of course, others would gladly clap their hands in enthusiasm.

That's literally 拍马屁!

Hahaha!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

A fair system

“我最感激的是新加坡有一个公平的制度,无论是本地人还是外国人,大家都有机会在同一个起跑点上竞争。” - 两年前和父母同获新加坡公民权的总统奖学金得主刘晨之父亲刘洛生


“What I am most gratified is that Singapore has a fair system, such that no matter citizens or foreigners, everyone has equal opportunity to compete at the same starting point" - Father of Liu Cheng, president scholar and new citizen of 2 years.

I am very pleased to know that our Chinese newspaper has devoted a special interview piece to highlight the above message to their readers - potential new citizens from China.

I am most happy that our system does not confer any "unfair" advantage whatsoever to Singaporeans vis a vis foreigners

I am full of joy to know that citizenship comes with National Service liability but does not confer any special starting point or opportunity to Singaporeans.

All these means that citizenship is worthless and nothing pleases me more than that.

Now, all these may sounds contradictory, but if you think carefully, it is actually all very logical and makes perfect sense because.....



P.S. The above are the gist of this unfinished post. I will wriggle my way out and cook up some distorted reasoning to justify my joy and happiness later.

Sigh, being a member of Young Pay-And-Pay is not easy. Sometimes, logic and reasoning must be twisted so much and plucked out of thin air, such that it really cause me migraine!

So, don't envy us Young Pay-And-Pay members, ok! Our money and power do come as easily as you peasants imagine. Boot-licking and Apple-polishing are refined arts that require years of hard training!

And even then, right now, I am having a writer's block!

But no matter, because regardless of what silly nonsensical reasoning I cook up eventually, it will be published faithfully by the newspapers, for you peasants to regurgitate, and any contrary view will get no airing!

Ok, time to get my creative juice cranking.

Any suggestions?

Saturday, August 18, 2007

National Service


This is Stephanie Ko, one of this year's president scholar.

Taxpayers will be footing $500,000 (half a million), so that she can study medicine at Cambridge University for free.

That's because, in a departure from past practice where medical students who had chosen to study overseas received the honour of being president scholars but no tuition payment, PSC now pays half a million to each of them for their free overseas medical education.

This is how Straits Times' Ho Ai Li reported her background:
...her father, Mr Ko Kheng Hwa, 52, who also received the scholarship in 1974. He is now managing director of the Economic Development Board.


I am absolutely aghast!

How can this nutty reporter highlight Mr. Ko's exact job title at EDB?

In doing so, this reporter has done a great disservice to both our elites and peasants:
  • She has indirectly highlighted that Mr. Ko can well afford to pay for his daughter's UK education, thus making both father and daughter look greedy in accepting this half-million-dollars scholarship! We should not be make our elites look bad in the eyes of the peasants!
  • she has reinforced the impression that apart from a few exceptions, scholarships are usually given to the sons and daughters of our elites. This will make our peasants unhappy!
  • she has denied our peasants' the hope that their families can rise up the social ladder when their sons or daughters become president scholars. Such false hope is needed to garner peasants' support!

She deserved to be given 3 strokes of the rotan!

She should learn from her counterpart from the Chinese newspaper. This is how 沈越 reported:

许倩雯还有一名哥哥,她的父亲是经济发展局职员,而母亲则是家庭主妇。

By calling Mr. Ko an employee ("职员"), rather than a Managing Director ("执行主席"), this reporter has done an excellent job.

Now, that's National Service at its best!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Please stop crying

"Jobs for Foreigners, NS for Singaporeans"??

Please lah, that's so out of fashion!

Meet the new slogan:
Schools for Foreigners.
Leftovers for Singaporeans!

The New Paper
Day of Tension, Agony & Ectasy
By Veena Bharwani
August 15, 2007

AT 5am, he was the first to register his child for the final phase of primary one registration that late July morning.

But yesterday afternoon, halfway through the balloting process at Canberra Primary, as he listened to the names being called out, Mr Thangavel Pandi thought being the first was his biggest mistake.

Said Mr Thangavel, 34, an Indian national and permanent resident here: 'I went very early in the morning for the registration, thinking it would give my son better odds.

'I was the first in line and only after 15 minutes did more parents show up to register.

'But today, as I looked at them fishing names out of the ballot bowl, I thought since he was the first to be registered, his name would be right at the bottom. I started to lose confidence.'

He started to pray that whoever it was that was fishing the names out of the bowl would thoroughly shuffle the cards that held the names of more than 200 students.

He needn't have worried. Mr Thangavel's son's was the 78th name to be called out.

As expected, Mr Thangavel, his wife T Karpa Valli, 29, and their son Sushin Thangavel, 6, leapt with joy.


'I'm so happy. I had done research on all the schools nearby. I went to all their websites and I really liked this school,' said Mr Thangavel, a manager at Toshiba.

Registering early does not give any child an edge over another. All names written on cards are put into a bowl and mixed thoroughly throughout the process to ensure fairness.

At Canberra Primary, there were 96 places available for 255 applicants.

Principal Ratnasingam Selvarani, 59, said some parents started queueing for the waiting list even before the balloting ended.

'We open the wait list after the balloting process ends. But by the middle of the process, more than 50 parents were already in queue to be waitlisted for the school,' she said.

TEAM WORK

She added: 'The parents come in pairs. One is upstairs listening to the names being called, and the other standing in the waitlist queue. Then they communicate with each other on the handphone.

'So the queue gets a bit shorter at the end as those successful in the balloting process drop out of the queue.'

Those on the waiting list may get a place later in the year or next year when vacancies open up.

Yesterday, balloting was held at 73 schools during the final phase - phase 2C - of the registration. This is for children with no ties to the school, or who have been unsuccessful in earlier stages.

Mr Thangavel was not the only one who waited in agony.

Mr Dennis Olivera, 33, an engineer, appeared tense throughout the process, but flashed a bright smile when he heard his daughter's name, Denise Samantha Olivera, called out - right at the end, the 92nd name.


DISAPPOINTMENT

Not everyone was as lucky.

Madam Boo Sock Li, who was vying for places for her twin boys Kwa Yu Heng and Kwa Yu Lian, both 6, went home disappointed as both didn't get a place.

The boys were given one ballot card, so if one boy's name was called out, the other would get a place too.

Said Madam Boo: 'I'm disappointed as this school was my first choice. It's right across from my block. Now we'll have to look for another school.'

Over at West Grove Primary in Jurong, a parent who declined to give her name cried profusely after her son didn't get in the school.

'I just got divorced and I'm supporting myself. Now, I have to take another day off to register my son at another school,' she said.

The school was popular - 316 applicants living within a 1km radius of the school have registered for 125 places.

Some parents, however, appeared less caught up in the balloting frenzy.

At Maris Stella Primary School, balloting was conducted among 29 candidates for only two places.

Teo Hong Rui and Wesley Chang Wai Woka, both 6, won the ballot.

But when their names were announced, there was no reaction from the crowd of parents gathered.

Why? Both the boys and their parents weren't present during the balloting.


Can some kind reader please explain to me why Madam Boo Sock Li was disappointed?

Disappointed with what?

Isn't it our honour to give up our children's slots in our schools to new permanent residents?

Heck, that's what we 66.6% voted for: to replace ourselves with foreigners for the sake of Singapore!

How can Madam Boo be so forgetful as to what she or 66.6% of her neighbours voted to do?

Madam Boo should instead have walked up to Mr. Thangavel and said:
"Dear Sir,
Today, both my Singapore-born Singapore-citizen sons serve your family well by giving up their school places to your India-born India-citizen son. BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH! 12 years later, I will make sure my two sons serve your family again, by doing NS to protect you and your wife's safety, while your son is away from Singapore, having given up his PR to avoid NS! BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH! So, another 12 years after that, when you son comes back to Singapore as a "new" PR, in need of a job but too old to do NS, my children will give up their jobs so that your son can have one. Having no jobs, my two sons will then kill time, by doing more reservists and IPPT to ensure the safety and pleasure of your family! The honour is ours, Sir!"

Like that, then got style mah!

Geez, one parent even cried.

Why? Crazy is it?

To serve foreigners who have become PR, is an honour!

These crying and disappointed parents should simply treat this school slots issue as a "practice run". A kind of initiation for their sons for things to come later in life:

Today it's a place in a school. Tomorrow, it is a job in the real world.

Better start early and learn from young!

I think we, members of Young Pay-And-Pay, have a lot more to do, to educate these people to live up to their votes and not cry!

Crying will scare our esteemed guests away!

PLEASE STOP CRYING!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Woof Woof

And not everyone was a born leader, said Mr Lee, who recounted what he had learnt about sheepdogs in Australia. A shepherd had told him that it was critical to see if the dog was up to the job. 'If the dog does not have a pair of eyes that can look at a sheep and scare the sheep into doing this, don't try.' - The Business Times, 7 Aug 2007


He is the dog shepherd aka 老狗贼

We are his running dogs, aka 无耻走狗

You peasants are docile silly sheep, aka 小绵羊!!

Hahahahaha

I didn't expect my Big Boss to be so frank!

LOL!

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

A timely reminder for you peasants!

"REMEMBER your place in society before you engage in political debate, said Information and the Arts Minister George Yeo yesterday.

Debate cannot degenerate into a free-for-all where no distinction is made between the senior and junior party, or what the Hokkiens describe as "boh tua, boh suay".

"You must make distinctions - what is high, what is low, what is above, what is below - and then within this, we can have a debate, we can have a discussion," he added.

Speaking to reporters at the end of his Moulmein tour on the parameters of debate, an issue sparked off by the Catherine Lim controversy, he made it clear that people should not take on those in authority as "equals"...."


The above Straits Times report dated 20th Feb 1994 is most appropriately titled "Debate yes, but do not take on those in authority as 'equals'"


Recently, I notice that many of you peasants are becoming boh tua boh suay. So, as a good ass-licker and apple-polisher, I feel it is my duty to help my Asses and Apples remind you peasants, of what George Yeo said 10 years ago.

So, please, for your own safety, remember your LOW position before talking to us. You are not our equal. Far from it!

Remember ”what is above? what is below?" and talk to us with the appropriate reverence, respect, adoration and admiration!

"Remember your place in society before you engage in political debates" (I couldn't have put it better than George Yeo), you peasants!!!!

你们这些奴才,先撒泡尿照一照自己,别忘了自己的低贱身份,等到你们学会用谦卑,求饶的口气说话, 才来和我们这些高级人物辩论吧!

My Chinese translation of the essence of what George yeo said, for those of you whose England is F9. LOL!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

My Big Boss is more advanced

If you don't include your women graduates in your breeding pool and leave them on the shelf, you would end up a more stupid society... So what happens? There will be less bright people to support dumb people in the next generation. That's a problem". -- Lee Kuan Yew, National Day Rally, 1983


If nature does not wish that weaker individuals should mate with the stronger, she wishes even less that a superior race should intermingle with an inferior one; because in such a case, all her efforts, throughout hundreds of thousands of years, to establish an evolutionary higher stage of being, may thus be rendered futile" -- Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf, Chapter XI, Race and People


I read somewhere on the internet that some rebels compare my beloved Big Boss to Adolf Hitler.

What an insult!

My Big Boss is not the same as Hitler. Lee Kuan Yew is way way more advanced in thinking compared to Hitler!

Let me explain:

Firstly, you should understand that Hitler regarded the Germans collectively as a superior race. But my Big Boss has not regarded his own people as a collective entity, as one single superior group. Instead, he has divided his own people, Singaporeans, into two distinct classes even though they are all of the same nationality and race (eg. Chinese Singaporeans): the superior elite Singaporeans and the inferior "dumb people" (Sinkies). And my big boss has done that systematically and objectively, via exams at primary 3 (GEP selection), primary 4 (EM1/2/3), primary 6 (PSLE), Secondary 4 (O-level), JC 2 (A-level). Did Hitler implement such nation-wide, multi-year sieving and streaming to seperate the superior from the "dump people"? I don't think so.Then how can you compare him to Lee?

Secondly, Hitler directed his extermination policies to foreigners, namely the Jews, whom he had viewed as inferior. To put it metaphorically, his guns were directed outwards. But my Big Boss went several steps ahead of Hitler. He exterminated his own citizens whom he had deemed inferior, and replaced them with foreigners whom he had deemed superior! Metaphorically, this would be like a family head pointing his guns, not at outsiders, but inwards, aiming at his own family members! That's much more advanced compared to what Hitler did. Don't you agree?

So you rebels, don't insult my Big Boss by comparing him to Hitler; Adolf Hitler is kachiamp puteh, nothing more than ikan bilis, compared to my one and only idol: Lee Kuan Yew!

Anyway, don't you think my big boss looks fiercer than Hitler?

Adolf Hitler should call Lee Kuan Yew Sifu!

Understand?

Show some respect to my Big Boss lah.

LKY is Singapore's Hitler? Please lah! He derverve more credit! *yawn*

Monday, July 16, 2007

Dont try to fuck around with us!

YOU ARE BEING WATCHED

That's right. YOU - an ordinary citizen with no political inclination!

Maybe you think that if YOU were not a politician or a member of an opposition party, your movement would not be monitored by ISD.

Well, in a way, you are right! ISD is indeed not involved with small flies like YOU.

Instead WE are the one involved. We, members of Young Pay-And-Pay, many of whom are in the grassroot movements, monitor you day and night.

We monitor where you live, how many kids you have, how old they are, what time you and your kids go out, what time you and your kids come home, whether your kids are always at home, or always out of the home...

How come we have so much time and energy to do that? Well, actually, we live right next to YOU! We are your neighbours living in the same town. Our job is to walk about the neighbourhood to monitor YOUR activities.

In fact, we have a list of names of YOUR kids, and we will check your kids movement against the list - for example, if the list says your kids should be in school, but your kids are always at home, then clearly something is not right. We will get "curious" and we will knock on your door to pay you a visit.

Yes, we will!

You think I, young Pay-And-Pay, am spreading an urban legend, or am threatening you? Fine! No point arguing with you. I will just let the newspaper that we control, do the talking for us.

This was from The New Paper, July 16, 2007, by Karen Wong:

(Marsiling grassroot leader) Mr Lee (kek Meng) often sees Tina playing with Reena when he passes by their flat, and was curious why the older girl was always at home.

Mr Lee was involved in an outreach exercise, which involved tracking pre-school children who are due for school, but had yet to enrol.

So he decided to check Tina's name against a list which (fellow community leader) Madam Goh had of 5- and 6-year-old children in their area.

They are children who were supposed to be in school but are recorded as not.

He was surprised to see that Tina's name was not on the list of children to visit.

Together with Madam Goh, they decided to visit the family.


First, we will monitor your movement by "passing by your flat" every few days. We will peep in and see who is at home and who is not. If there is nothing out of the ordinary, we will keep quiet, and you will get none the wiser. You won't even know you are being monitored!

But then, if we don't like what we see, we become "curious". And that's when we will consult the lists of names and NRIC given to us by higher authorities to help us watch you more effectively.

Finally, if what we see and what our list says do not match, we will knock on your door to demand an explanation.

Oh yes, we will!

We will walk right up to you and ask you point blank:

Why is it that every time I walk pass your flat, I see your children at home? Chor Bor Lan is it? KNN, you peasants no need to work is it? Why they not in school? Why they not playing outside? WHY WHY WHY? You tell me lah! Tell me their names. Show me their birth certificate. I want to check what if they are on my special list of children to watch out for. Nope, not on my list. Lagi worse! Why not on my list? You give me a full account of who they are, what country they are born in, and where their parents are! Be truthful, we are going publish the result of this investigation in the newspaper!


This is Singapore and this is how we do things.

Ok lah, to be fair, my more senior and experienced colleagues can talk to you in a much nicer manner than the conversation above, which is how I, a young member would have put it to you. But while the means may be different, the ends are the same - we monitor you and we must find out why there are discrepancies between what we monitor and what our list says.

So get real, you rebel wannabes and start behaving! Don't force us to pay you a visit. We may not be ISD, we may be more polite, but don't be fooled: we are still monitoring you with a very helpful list.

And remember: iF you don't like such surveillance which are conducted round the clock 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, by your fellow neighbours who walk pass your "castle" every few days and who are armed with a list of your family's particulars (name, NRIC, age etc), YOU leave.

That's right. YOU should be the one to leave singapore, not us.

We own Singapore. Not you peasants!

And since we own it, we have the right to ask your neighbours to monitor you, your wife, your husband, your kids, and even your baby! And we have the right to give them a list of all your particulars to help them do their job.

And get it, you rebels, Singaporeans do not mind!!!

For why else, were we able to proudly announce the result of our monitoring in our newspaper, as if the effective surveillance of citizens by state-appointed personnel armed with state-sanctioned lists, is an achievement to be bragged about?

So, don't even try to fuck around with us! No Sinkies will buy your mumbo jumbo high-sounding ideals of The Right to Privacy From the State's Surveillance. You are just going to make a fool of yourself, if you start talking about the need for human rights, or the perils of having a police state.

Singaporeans love a police state! And so they love us!

They do not like people of Chee Soon Juan type, who keep talking about the importance of human rights.

Get that into your nit wit brain, and toe the line or leave!

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

(So how? Am I more Wee Shu Min, than Wee Shu Min?)

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Don't force us to shoot you!


Haha! Hip Hip Hooray!

I applaud the brilliance of my Asses and Apples in staging this mock display of violence at the National Day Parade rehearsal.

We have no choice. Peasants are dismissing our words and treating us as if we are jokers.

NO CAN DO!

It is high time we show those peasants that we really mean business when our big boss said:

"Without the elected president and if there is a freak result, within two or three years, the army would have to come in and stop it"

What better way to impress upon the young minds that this is not an empty threat than at the NDP rehearsal, which, according to the Straits Times, was attended by 18,000 primary 5 pupils, whose "viewing of last night's NDP rehearsal was part of a National Education programme in schools, which aims to develop national cohesion".

What a superb National Education Programme!

And just in case those kids' parents are too dense to get our subtle message and still stubbornly think that we are only joking, we have gotten the Straits Times to highlight our message in no uncertain terms, right in the first paragraph in the Straits Times article that acompanied this picture is.

Go on. Make a guess. What do you think is the first sentence in the Straits Times report?

July 15, 2007
Ok, ok, I'll behave, don't shoot
ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD Yeung Cheak Heng hammed it up for his friends last night, raising his arms in mock surrender as a Special Operations Command officer aimed a weapon at him.


Yeah, you peasants! BEHAVE!

Don't make my Asses and Apples shoot you.

I, young Pay-And-Pay may only know how to "shoot" you with lies and myth and legends in the Straits Times forum page, but my Asses and Apples can shoot you with real guns. OK?

I strongly advise all of you to stop your nonsense on the various online forums. Be like me! Licking somebody's backside may be a dirty job, and carrying balls a great strain on our muscles, but it pays well, and for money, I am willing to do anything. What about you?

I hope you are just like me, a proud member of YPAP - Young Pay-And-Pay welcomes you to join us in licking asses and polishing apples. That's our specialty and we will teach you all that we know. Come join us today!

Sunday, May 27, 2007

A good puppet


Show time!

Apart from being a good apple-polisher and ass-licker, do you guys know that I, young Pay-And-Pay, is also very good at being a puppet?

The 3rd puppet from the left, is yours truly.

I was raising my hand and voice and pretending to scold the 2nd puppet from the left.

Sometimes, our Asses and Apples want us, puppets, to pretend to scold each other, in order to create a pretense of check and balance.

Sometimes I am the "scolder", sometimes, the "scoldee".

Doesn't really matter and doesn't bother me a single bit; I will do anything for money and power.

You should come see one of our Wayang one day.

Guaranteed eye-opener!

Very entertaining one!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

My honour


Someone created this amusing poster of my beloved Apple. And I happen to chance upon it. Wow, I am so filled with pride!

As you all know, I, young Pay-And-Pay (YPAP), am a dog. (See my profile).

And since people think my Apple is a Bitch, that makes me, YPAP, the Son of a Bitch!

What an honour to be so closely related to the Elites!

Hello, Mummy, I, 狗娘养的 YPAP, am your loyal apple-polisher and ass-licker and stand ready here to serve you, today and everyday, for ever more (so long as you let me part-take in some of your "Lee-Ching")

You tell me your agenda and leave the rest to me.

I will be sure to cook up some twisted logic to support you and will make sure it get published in the Straits Times' forum page.

Woof! Woof!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

An honest ball-carrier

Straits Times, May 19, 2007
Lim Bo Seng a major when he led Force 136

I REFER to the letter, 'WWII hero Lim Bo Seng 'demoted'' (ST, May 15), by Mr Nicholas Joshua Law.

The information on the storyboard erected near the Lim Bo Seng Memorial reads: 'The memorial was built in 1954 in memory of Major Lim Bo Seng who led Force 136, an anti-Japanese resistance movement.'

When war hero Lim Bo Seng led Force 136, he was then a major in rank. It was only posthumously that he was accorded the rank of major-general by the nationalist government in China in 1946.

Seen in this context, the statement is factually accurate.

The storyboard is part of the Civic District Trail, which was officially launched in 1999 to allow participants to learn more about the area's historic landmarks. The information was verified by a working committee comprising historians from the former Singapore History Museum (now known as the National Museum of Singapore), archivists from the National Archives of Singapore and other government officials.

We hope we have addressed Mr Law's concern. We thank him for his feedback and hope to see more members of the public embark on our Civic District Trail.

Walter Lim
Director
Corporate Communications & Industry Promotion
National Heritage Board




This Walter Lim is a fuckup!
He can't even por lam par properly!

He should simply just issue a 3-line reply:

"Dear Singaporeans,
1. Please understand that our Prime Minister is a Brigadier General and he is no war hero.
2. Therefore, we cannot, and will not allow Lim Bo Seng or any other war hero to hold the higher rank of Major General.
3. We hope you understand our needs to carry balls. Thank you"


Walter Lim should learn from me.
I am more skilled in the art of carrying balls while being honest!

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Money and power come first


I saw this photo on some online forum.

This is really too much!
How can they anyhow post my photo
on the internet for all to see?

This is getting scary too.
How did they get hold of my photo?

Anyway, what can I do?
For as long as I want to be paid handsomely,
in cash and in kind,
and wield lots of power,
I have to lick asses and polish apples.
No choice!

Money and power come first.
I am willing to do anything for it.
Yes, even having my photo exposed on the net.
Small price to pay for the benefits lah!

That's my philosophy in life:
No shame, no morality, no principle.
That's why my Asses and Apples
like me very much;
I will do whatever they tell me to do.
Sometimes, even before they tell me to!

I am a good member of young Pay-And-Pay,
and a proud running dog!

Thursday, May 3, 2007

No danger


Where is the danger?
I don't understand.

The danger is when it is illegal.
Then we run the risk of being charged in court.

But when it is leegalised,
we can all lick asses and polish apples,
and get paid big bucks in return.
All without any risk of running foul of the law!

So it is very safe.
Where got danger?

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Motivation


I post the above here to motivate myself to
lick asses and polish apples even harder,
so that one day,
I can be "co-opted" into the party.

I am a very contented person.
Just the $216,300 is enough.

The other $800,000,
I will make it up myself,
via company directorships;

I know some of my mentors
hold 10 directorships!
I just checked.
There is no law against doing that.
So I will try to out-do these guys.

But that's for another day.
Right now,
I must concentrate on the task at hand:
lick asses and polish apples.
Only by doing these well,
can I climb up the ladder.

Money and power,
here I come!

Monday, April 16, 2007

Pls show them smiling


This is the current pic at Asia1.com.
Asia1 has replaced the old pic!

What happened to all the smiles?
Why did Asia1 take down the 1st pic?

This new pic is inappropriate!
How can anyone not feel happy
with a pay hike?

Shame on you, Asia1.
Put back the first pic, can?

I don't like to see
my Asses and Apples not smiling!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Good Asia1.com


This was the pic put up by Asia1.com.
It was a nice pic.
And very appropriate too.

Of course all of them were happy.
Who won't be,
if he gets 1 million more?

I feel so happy
when I see their happy faces.

Asia1, well done!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Double up


I saw this pic at some online forum.
And I feel like crying.
Poor Ass.
I think I need to lick his ass more,
to make him feel better.

Fellow ass lickers and apple polishers,
this is the time when
our Asses and Apples need us most;

We must use all our brain power to
defy logic and reasoning,
to brainwash singaporeans!

Let us all double up
our licking and polishing efforts!

Friday, April 13, 2007

Smart boy

Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong says
he will hold his own salary at
the present level for five years


This Ass is the cleverest of all Asses
that I have ever licked.
He increased his pay
by a much larger percentage
than MM and SM did,
so that it exceeds the two of them.
(Before this hike, his salary was below theirs).

THEN,
he will not increase his pay again,
until after the next election is over!

I love him.
He is sooooooooo smart!
Smart people like him should be adored.
Peasants should get out of our
elite fucking face!
Woohoo!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

No match for me

Dr Lily Neo has said she will donate
the increment in her MP allowance
to
Public Assistance recipients in her constituency.



I prefer this woman.
Her ass-licking and apple-polishing
are half-hearted,
and contradicted by her actions.
She is no match for my all-out effort lah!
She will not be a threat to my rice bowl,
unlike the ugly bitch below.

Maybe that's why she looks
so much prettier than the ugly bitch;
Women who don't know how to suck cocks,
can only attract my Asses' attention with looks.
Conversely, those who know how to suck well,
can afford to look like shit!

As for ass-lickers like me,
pretty or ugly also doesn't matter;
My Asses never get to see me,
'cos I lick from the "behind"!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Steal my rice bowl

Singapore is governed by extraordinary men
willing to make personal sacrifices,

said MP for Tampines GRC
Irene Ng in Parliament.


I don't like this woman.
She is stealing my rice bowl.
Despicable bitch who thinks
she can polish apples better than I!

Luckily she looks very ugly.
One look at her and
my Asses will have no mood.
I bet Mr. Ass prefers me licking his Ass
than her sucking his cock!

Then again, Madam Apple may prefer her.
Both of them "got fight" with each other
in the looks department.
One can make the other
feel better about herself!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Happy like anything

My Ass Prince looked soooo happy.
Laugh until mouth cannot close.
Of course lah,
he just got a million-dollar pay rise!

I am very happy for him too.
I hope he will share
some of his millions with me.

Trying to justify his salary increase
is no easy task, ok.
I did work very hard to lick his smelly Ass!

Thursday, April 5, 2007

MUST feed monkeys


I saw this sign at MacRitchier Resevoir.

I was outraged. This is getting too much!

Sure, I can tolerate it if some uninformed joggers are not happy that our Asses and Apples are being fed so much money.

But how can they openly call our esteemed Asses and Apples "monkeys" and put up protest signs all over the park like that? HOW CAN?

Firstly, 1 peanut cost $600,000. Our Asses and Apples are asking only for 5 peanuts a year as salary, 3 peanuts a year as pension, and a total of 8 peanuts while working AND retiring simultaneously (i.e. when they are past 55 yrs old). That's not asking too much.

Secondly, not every monkey get to eat 5 peanuts in a year; It all depends on how good they are at monkeying. Those who are lousy, e.g. those hip-hop post-65 MPs who cannot even mimic accurately how a monkey dance, received only about 1/6 of a peanut only leh!

Thirdly, what's wrong with looking like monkeys? Look carefully at the pictures we apple-polishers and ass-lickers put up below - don't these monkeys look cute? Monkeys are intelligent creatures. They can jump from trees to trees, changing their positions back and forth. They can dance and entertain us, just as those hip-hop MPs did. Nothing wrong being monkeys, I would say. And anyway, it is not our Asses and Apples' fault that they look like monkeys. In fact, if I can choose, I would rather be a peanut-eating monkey, than an ass-licking young pay-and-pay! But well, each person has his job to do, so I am quite contented to lick the ass of my esteemed monkeys while they are eating peanuts. Kind of kinky too, if you ask me -- I lick while he eats!

So, how can these joggers anyhow say "dont feed the monkeys"? If we don't feed the monkeys, what are we going to do with the peanuts? Throw them at those poor humans in their 80s who have to skip 1 meal per day? Please lah, havent you guys heard of the saying "if you pay peanut, you get monkey"? Peanuts are meant for monkeys, not humans! Understand or not?

I have called the National Park Authority and told them to take down these protest signs immediately. I am always very "on" about such things. That's part and parcel of being a good ass-licker cum apple-polisher. Take pride in the job, I say. It is not an easy task. But I always put on my very best when it comes to licking and polishing. Our Asses and Apples deserve the best lick and polish.

Finally, I have one simple advice for the protesters: next time, if you guy want to protest, draw better! Your peanut doesn't look like a peanut at all! Looked more like banana. Not that our apples and asses don't like to suck bananas. They do, and they are mean suckers who can suck bananas after bananas. But peanut goes with monkey mah. No standard lah you people. No match for us ass-lickers and apple-polishers!

Sunday, April 1, 2007

WILL demolish him

"If they vote for [Chee Soon Juan], they'll have five years of misery because in five years we'll demolish him." - Lee Kuan Yew, 2001 General Elections

There is no need to demolish Chee. Chee will demolish himself. This guy doesn't make sense at all! Read what he wrote on his SDP website:

Let's not get mad, let's get busy
29 Mar 07

Dear fellow Singaporeans,

The Internet has been seething with anger over the latest round of salary increase for our ministers. I don’t need to go into the figures for you already know them.

Not only have the ministers lavished on themselves quite obscene salaries but they have also, through their remarks, shown complete and utter contempt for the feelings of Singaporeans. Which prime minister would say that he and his colleagues should not be expected to make 'unnecessary financial sacrifices' when even a minister is paid more than the president of the United States?

What's more, this comes on the heel of a GST hike amidst data showing that lower-income earners continue to see their wages shrink. And then the Prime Minister tells us that it does this in order to help the poor.

Enough of blogging. Enough of posting your frustrations online. Enough of complains. We’ve been doing that ever since the scheme of pegging ministerial pay to the most lucrative professional salaries started in the mid-1990s.

We need to stop talking and start exercising our rights – no, our solemn duty – to speak up for our nation. We need to let the PAP know that it cannot treat us like doormats.

I know many of you are still fearful. But you must act in spite of your fears. When you do, you'll discover the power of your courage you never thought you had. When enough of us overcome that fear, the PAP will listen.

Let not our fear freeze us into inaction. And let it not be remarked that, like Nero, we fiddled while Rome burned.

What can you do? For starters, go down to Orchard Road at Ngee Ann City Shopping Centre this Saturday, 31 March, starting from 12 noon to about 3 pm where my colleagues and I will be selling the book The Power of Courage. Come by to say hello and leave us your contact. If you have children, bring them along. My kids will be there.

We will need your assistance in the planning of a series of activities leading up to May Day in a month’s time. Here’s your opportunity to do something constructive and to really stand up for Singapore.

Remember my fellow Singaporeans, we are citizens, not slaves! Citizens have rights and we need to exercise those rights. I leave you with this thought: Aeroplanes are safer on the ground, but that was not what aeroplanes are made for.

See you on Saturday!

Chee Soon Juan

Unbeliveable! How can he compare Singapore to United States??? I have never been to the United States, but based on what our news media tell me, United States is a small country. Everyone live in cities and work in high-tech industries. The whole country is so insular and hardly participate in any international activities.

Now contrast that with Singapore:
  • We are a big country requiring more than 1 hours to travel from east to west. This makes our transport requirment very complex and so the Transport Minister deserves more money than his counterpart in USA.
  • We have both farms and farmers in Choa Chu Kang, and biotech and scientists in biopolis. Such diverse economy and people in diverse occupation makes the job of the Trade And Industry Minister and Home Affairs Minister very difficult, and so they, too, deserves much higher salary than theirs counterpart in USA.
  • We have sent humanitarian missions to Indonesia in the Tsunami disaster. Our PM also flew to Doha to support our Sports team. All these translate to our Minister of Defence and Minister of Foreign Affairs having much more tasks to accomplish than their counterparts in USA have, and so again they deserve much more than the latter. Don't forget: United States' Defence Minister and Foreign Affair Minister need only shake leg at home, while their troops fight in Iraq. So how to compare?
There is no basis for comparison at all! USA is easy to govern, SG is difficult. FULL STOP! This Chee is outrageous. So, yesterday, I nearly went down to Ngee Ann City to give him the scolding that a mad man like him deserves.

Then, on second thought, I decided better not lah. I am not that good at debating in an uncensored "live" environment where i cannot anyhow censor what my opponent says. Better leave it to the Ministers and our news media to "demolish him". I should just stick to the job that I do best - ass-licking and apple-polishing. So here's a few licks and polishes:

Long Live Minister Mentor! We wish you a long life, so that you have enough time to demolish Chee. And congratulations on your honourary degree in Law. You most deserve it. You have done a lot to our law . I don't think any opposition members can deny what I just said: You indeed, had done a lot to our law and our constitution in the past 40 years!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

MUST increase salary!


I read the speeches by various Ministers and became worried: if we do not increase ministerial salary as soon as possible, we will not be able to attract top talents to join the cabinet and those who are already in the cabinet will leave! Allow me to explain:

Attracting people to join the cabinet
  • Khaw was previously a multi million-dollar CEO in a private sector company, before downgrading himself to become Minister of Health
  • Tharman was earning millions as a ____ in well-known MNC _____ , before lowering his salary to become a Minister.
  • Same for Lim Swee Say, Lim Boon Heng, Mah Boh Tan etc etc,. Each and every one of them was earning millions already in the private sector as CEO, CFO, CTO, whatever O, and each of them reduced his pay in order to enter government.
Abandoning the Cabinet/Country
  • Lee Hsien Loong himself, if not because there is a few million for him each year, would have abandoned his PM post and his country!
  • Same for every minister - right now, all of them are already losing their mood to serve the public, given the $1M+ only base salary. If we don't increase it to $2M, their mood will be gone entirely and they will quit. Only by giving them another $1M will they be able to sustain their interest to work for the country

OK, so the above is my draft speech for our Asses and Apples. Now, can some other ass-lickers and apple-polishers please:
  1. fill in the blanks and details of the exact private sector company and position and salary that each minister held before lowering his salary to enter the cabinet? A side-by-side comparision will convince those peasants once and for all.
  2. publish the mandatory psychological assessment that each Minister took before entering the cabinet? There is no point lying about how selfless and upright our Asses and Apples are and how they are serving the people for reasons other than money, blah blah blah. Such blatant lies make it difficult for us apple-polishers and ass-lickers to do our job: help justify the salary increase!
    Instead, it is time to let the peasants know the dire truth - the psychologist has assessed each of them to be "money face". Not a single one of them is driven by intrinsic motivation such as altruism, patriotism etc. "Money is the only thing on their mind" - the psychologist has written. Therefore our argument that they will quit if we do not double their salary is supported by the psychologists! Once peasants understand that, they will have to agree with the salary increase.
So fellow ass-lickers and apple polishers, please get to work. I have already done my part by helping you draft the explanation. Now's your turn to polish my draft and lick it clean!