Friday, November 23, 2007


ST HILDA'S Primary pupil Natasha Nabila binte Muhamad Nasif is the top scorer in the Primary School Leaving Examination results that were released in schools at noon on Thursday.

Her aggregate score of 294 set a new record for the examinations, beating the last highest score of 292 set in 1993 by Nanyang Primary boy Justin Lau Yang Zheng.

Natasha, 12, whose father is a technician and mum, a housewife, is from the gifted education stream.

The Singapore Examinations and Assessment Board described her results as 'outstanding', as she was ahead by six points from the next two highest scorers,

Straits Times must have made a mistake!

According to a certain very wise man, when a graduate father mates with a graduate mother, they have a super high chance of producing a clever child, whereas the chance of a peasant father and a peasant mother having an intelligent offspring is near impossible.

So given such low probability, how can it be that this girl became The top PSLE scorer?

The wise man can never be wrong.

The consequence would be dire if he were wrong: we have based our taxation system - which gives substantial tax rebates to high-earning mothers - and entire statutory board such as SDU on the premise that this wise man put forward!

If he were wrong, one entire generation of peasants' kids would have been penalised for nothing; we would have enticed their parents to sterilize for nothing!

No! He is not wrong. How can he ever be? He is the one and only wise man!

Straits Times must have been wrong. Tomorrow, I will marshall our ghost writer unit to bombard its editors to be more careful next time when publishing such news that may damage our wise man's reputation. Straits Times is becoming very unruly recently. We must rein it!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Cha Cha Cha

Lim Boon Heng, Minister in charge of Ageing, dancing with former MP, Dr. Aline Wong... an "aging carnival"

Ah Lao went there too. He went to pick up the rubbish they left behind:

(Note: pic was actually taken elsewhere,
but you get my point).

What a wonderful "ageing carnival".

Were you there?

I was .

We had a terrible eye-sore of a time watching our current boss and former boss danced!

Their dance were awful. Really terrible! But I was the one who clapped the loudest till both my palms were red! LOL!

Living up to my name as the top ass licker and apple polisher at Young Pay-And-Pay, I even shouted "encore" till my voice became hoarse.

Luckily, the minister did not take my request seriously. Otherwise, we would have to endure more eye sore! Haha!

After the carnival, I left immediately, making sure that I did not make eye contact with any old cleaners on the way out. I think it will still pain me a bit, if I were to see those 80 years old, cleaning up at an "ageing carnival"!

My Gong Fu is still not good enough. Seniors in Young Pay-And-Pay tell me that they don't feel any pang of guilt at all.

Hopefully, after performing more apple polishing and ass licking, whatever little morals I have will disappear. Then, in addition to being able to make eye contact, I also do not need to feel like puking when I said "encore", anymore!

Practice makes perfect.

This principle works for both apple-polishing and dancing!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Cheap! Cheap!

"Switching to cheaper products can reduce the cost of living despite a rise in the CPI." - Lim Hng Khiang, 13 Nov 07

That's one of the dumbest thing our bosses had said this year.

They are putting the wrong idea into the mind of peasants!

What if one of the peasants suddenly picked up on this idea and decided that switching to cheaper Ministers and MPs can reduce the cost of living?

Then how?

Not only will our expensive Ministers and MPs lose their $3,000,000 jobs, even we, in Young Pay-And-Pay, may lose our expensive and lucrative ass-licking and apple-polishing jobs!

Hey, Mr. Lim, stop saying such things!

We, your most humble ball-carriers, rely on the stupidity of peasants to feed our Mercedes and Rolex. The day they wake up from their stupidity, that's the day we lose our money and power.

So please, stop such LPPL message, your Highness! They will back fire on us!

Sunday, November 4, 2007


This man is 85. This is his wife.

Why did NTU invite him and his wife to Singapore?

Just because he is a Nobel Prize Laureate in Physics?

How can NTU do that???

As an apple-polishing, ass-licking member of Young Pay-And-Pay, I am appalled by NTU's action. What is NTU's motive?

Don't they know that seeing such a photo is going to make an 84 years old man regret his decision of converting a commercial passenger plane into a mid-air hospital?

"Damn it! I should have left her in London"!

We shouldn't allow such politics of envy to take roots in this country!