The Joker

(pic from SDP's website)

Despite his age, Lee Kuan Yew is a joker; He can tell very good jokes:

He said a country needed 3 elements to succeed.

First, a govt that people have confidence in and will trust when tough decisions need to be taken.

Second, leaders who are above board, who make decisions based on necessity, not how they will personally benefit. He said Singaporeans know they have such leaders because, over the years, "We have not got richer, Singapore has".

Third and most importantly, a country needs able men in charge...

That's from our 154th ranked Straits Times reporting on what our great joker said at the 1st World Cities Summit and International Water Week forum,

I hope he will live longer, so that we can hear more good jokes from him. Such jokes help reduce our daily stress, arising from living in one of the world's most densely populated cities. governed by a Prime Minister who earns about the same amount as Britain's PM and United States' President and France's President and Germany's Chancellor and Italy's PM COMBINED!

That's right! C O M B I N E D ! ! !

Is our living standard - especially in the way we treat the elderlies and poor - up to the standard of any ONE of these 5 countries, never mind the COMBINATION of all five?

Obviously, that is a constant headache that we in Young Pay-And-Pay have to endure - how to twist and turn logic when comparing with these countries. Usually, we take the easy way out; we compare our living standards with 3rd world countries, not these 5 countries. Haha!

A local trilingual elite who wants to be a Japanese

A local trilingual elite who wants to be a Japanese
Recently, I went to Japan for a tour. On the return trip, I met a young man on the plane. After talking to him, my mind became unsettled, for a long long time.

This young man conversed with the Japan Airlines' stewardess in Japanese. When my daughter and I stood up to let him pass through to the window seat, he thanked us in Mandarin. When he saw me reading the inflight shopping catalog, he politely asked me in a friendly voice if I needed any help, and if so, he could help be my translator. Such a trilingual young "Japanese" is quite a rare sight, so I took the opportunity to chat with him.


He is a patriotic Japanese?
I asked him in Mandarin for the purpose of his journey to Singapore. He said he was going back to study. I couldn't help but prais the local Japanese School, for its ability to train trilingual students. But, surprisingly, he told me he was a second year Junior College student from a famous local institution. From his grandparents to him, he was already a third generation immigrant. Looking at how pleased he was with himself, I felt very glad for our education system, because this number one institution had also trained many of our country's outstanding political leaders.

I asked him: since he was a JC2 student, and the A-levels was coming soon, at the end of the year, why did he still insist on going back to Japan to visit his relatives? He confidently replied: "Based on my results, I would have no problem at all getting into any famous British or American university. But the A-levels is of no meaning to me, because my ideal is to get into Tokyo University, so that I can stay in my 'native country' and contribute to my 'native country'!"

Looking at the patriotic expression on his face, I could not help but quietly admire the patriotism of these Japanese.

He even said that though this was the first time he step foot on the Japan that he had dreamt and thought of every day, but once he step foot on it, he felt an overwhelming sense of familiarity, a sense of having returned home.


He is a Singaporean who love Japan!
I then asked him where his grandparents resided. He replied: "Actually, my grandfather was an immigrant who travelled south from China". "Travelled south from China? Then aren't you a native-born, native-raised Singaporean?" To quote a familiar western idiom, at that time, I "nearly fell off the chair"!

Looking at the self-indulging expression of this young man, I knew that, giving him a noble-sounding "national education" right then was pointless. So I simply asked him, why he so loved Japan. The gifted student kept quiet for some time, and appeared unable to come up with an answer. "Isn't Singapore good?" I asked next.

"Singapore? The Singapore government has no regards for Human Rights. Forces us to serve National Service! Singapore's prosperity was built upon its exploitation of citizens! Even with scholarships, there are strings attached, unlike the Japanese government. So long as I can get into Japan's public university, they will not only pay for my tuition, but also give me a monthly allowance. Therefore, even without any strings attached, I will remain in Japan for the rest of my life, and do my utmost to serve the Japanese Government"


He apologised on behalf of the Japanese!?
I told him I have been to numerous countries, such as Australia, New Zealand, and even Japan, and can feel their discrimination against the Chinese. Just taking this trip as an example, on the way to a temple, a shop-keeper, upon seeing my family speaking in Mandarin and walking into her shop, deliberately put some samples away.

The gifted student listened to my narration and told me: "Very sorry. I apologised, on their behalf, to you". I angrily replied: "You do not need to apologise for them. You are not a Japanese. You are just like me. We are Singaporeans!"

"But, I have already made my decision. After my two years of 'slavery'. i mean after my national service, I will proceed to Japan to study, and thereafter I will stay there, get married and have children. So my next generation and my next-next generation will be Japanese."

"Young man, do not forget that there is Chinese flowing in your blood. This is a fact that cannot be eradicated. Moreover, your surname is also a fact that cannot be changed"

"That doesn't matter. Some people go to Japan to work and for convenience, they changed to Japanese names".

Looking at this trilingual, but culturally-anaemic gifted student, my heart was filled with sadness, worries, and disappointment. However, I still hold a ray of hope. I asked this gifted student: In your Junior College, are there many schoolmates with such "special ambition" as you do?

He replied: "There aren't many schoolmates who love Japan the way I do, That's because most of them have already decided to emigrate to Europe and the United States!"

Who was the one who created our "culturally-anaemic" education system?

Who was the one who said on public record that all mother tongues should be taught in school without any cultural component i.e. all ancient stories and culture associated with the language must be removed from the syllabus which used to have them?

Just teach the vocabulary, the grammar, but the passages should be devoid of any cultural knowledge - who was the one who ordered his staff to revamp the syllabus thus?

(Note: The English language has always been taught without any English cultural component in it, but that's not how the mother tongues used to be taught previously. Hence the word "removed" and "revamp").

And who was the one who came up with a curriculum where top students study triple sciences and double mathematics, and only 1 humanities (i.e. cultural component)?

I believe it was Goh Keng Swee, Singapore's first Minister of Education. His speeches are all archived in the National Library.

And who was the one who voted for such culturally-anaemic education policy?

And who was the one who voted for our "outstanding leaders" (to quote the writer) - "outstanding leaders" who ordered such "outstanding" culturally-anaemic curriculum?

You, Mr. 梁秉亮, the writer of the above article!

Y O U !

Oh, and I haven't even touched on the "human rights" and "exploitation" part that YOU voted for. But I guess, you have already received an earful from that boy, haven't you?

"The Singapore government has no regards for Human Rights."
"Singapore's prosperity was built upon its exploitation of citizens!"

Giving up such rights (and culture) was ok for you, in exchange for prosperity.

你，梁秉亮 ，卖（民）主求荣， 卖文化求荣！

你，急功近利，但求个人/国家之荣华富贵，不顾其他一切，犹如东方不败，自宫当太监，甘心出卖民主，出卖文化，通过选票，造就了这个没民主，没文化底蕴的怪胎岛！

You thought there was not going to be any consequence. No karma.

Wrong!

Now, 40 years later, the new generation has grown up under the politics and education system that you voted for.

And they are leaving!

So, Mr. 梁秉亮, be prepared to wash toilet and clean plates for the foreigners imported by our "outstanding leaders". Imported to replace the local talents chased away by YOU.

This Young Pay-And-Pay member is not trilingual. But he is effectively bilingual, as can be seen from this near perfect Chinese-English translation of the LianHe ZaoBao's 26-06-08 article. Ahem.

And so, no, Japan is not my cup of tea. But, Europe and United States sure are.

Not surprising. After all, this Young Pay-And-Pay member is also culturally-anaemic, having too, received his education from that "number one institution" which has "trained many of our country's outstanding political leaders"!

But, not now lah! Now, I am still getting big bucks as a member of Young Pay-And-Pay. But a few years later, if they still don't put me up for election so that I can accumulate even more wealth, then things may become different. LOL

An orchestra conductor

The old fart stood in the middle.
He released a loud fart,
and took out his famous red hatchet.
He pointed it menacingly at everyone.

The men-in-white started trembling.
They started singing the same tune
- his tune.

They started blowing his trumpet.
They started blowing his horn.
They even beat his drum.

"Louder",
he waved his hatchet threateningly to the left.
They obliged.

"Harder",
he signaled silently to the right with his hatchet.
They complied.

But they were not in sync!

He jumped up and down in desperation,
and they all panicked.
They trumpeted and horned and drummed
even harder and louder.

Finally, he heard enough and
with a quick wave,
he told them to shut up.
And they did.
All at the same time.
and none a moment slower.

Now, the old fart was pleased.
Very pleased.
Turning around,
he let out another loud fart,
hid his legendary hatchet,
and bowed in false modesty.

He fully anticipate to hear your applause next!

Won't you clap for him?

I love NS

我要当兵了。
(Song from Jack Neo's Army series CD)
(Loose translation and interpretation:
I am going to be an NS slave soon)


6月23是坏日子。
(23rd June was a lousy day)

也是小弟的“进兵”时，
(That's the day I became an NS slave)

起早八早来坐taxi，
(Took a taxi early in the morning)

到尾来到 CMPB。
(To Central Manpower Base I went)

哎哟，哎哟，哎哎哟，
(Aiyo, aiyo, Jobs for Foreigners)
哎哟，哎哟，哎哎哟。
(Aiyo aiyo, NS for Singaporeans)


当我来到 CMPB，
(At Central Manpower Base)

兵头收起红登记，
(My red IC was confiscated,
for I was a citizen no more)

叫我进去check body，
(I was ordered to have my body checked,
to ensure I can be a healthy slave to foreigners)

然后送我去ITD。
(Then, I was sent to begin
my foreigner-protection training
at Infantry Training Depot)

哎哟，哎哟，哎哎哟，
(Aiyo, aiyo, Jobs for Foreigners)
哎哟，哎哟，哎哎哟。
(Aiyo aiyo, NS for Singaporeans)


ITD是三楼屋，
(Infantry Training Depot was a 3 storey building)

也是小弟的吃风屋。
(That's where I ate wind and trained to protect foreigners)

有椅子，床铺和铁橱，
(There were bare chairs, bare beds, and bare iron chests).

兵衫兵裤“隆重”有。
(A slave uniform for me too)

哎哟，哎哟，哎哎哟，
(Aiyo, aiyo, Jobs for Foreigners)
哎哟，哎哟，哎哎哟。
(Aiyo aiyo, NS for Singaporeans)


黑黑两条叫 Corporal,
(Two stripes = corporal)

黑黑三条叫 Sergeant
(Three stripes = sergeant)

黑黑三条加一只蟹，
(Three stripes and a crab)

那个叫做 CSM。
(That's Company Sergeant Major)

哎哟，哎哟，哎哎哟，
(Aiyo, aiyo, Jobs for Foreigners)
哎哟，哎哟，哎哎哟。
(Aiyo aiyo, NS for Singaporeans)


Sergeant要是发脾气，
(If the slave master aka Sergeant was in a foul mood)

楼上楼下跑给你死
(Upstairs, downstairs, you shall run till you drop dead!)

Number 3 和 Number 4，
(No. 3 and No. 4)

“没待没机”换来换去。
(Changed back and forth for fuck?)

哎哟，哎哟，哎哎哟，
(Aiyo, aiyo, Jobs for Foreigners)
哎哟，哎哟，哎哎哟。
(Aiyo aiyo, NS for Singaporeans)


天光就training到暗晚，
(From dawn to dusk, we trained to protect foreigners)

钻洞插草 SOC,
(Dug trenches and did Standard Obstacle Courses)

最为吃力是跑5公里，
(Most taxing were the 5 km run)

有时还得扛casualty
(Sometimes, we even have to carry the poor casualties
who had been hurt by the invading Foreign Trash)

哎哟，哎哟，哎哎哟，
(Aiyo, aiyo, country for Foreigners)
哎哟，哎哟，哎哎哟。
(Aiyo aiyo, NS for Singaporeans)


做兵一天赚3块，
(NS one day, my slave allowance was $3,
while foreigners were earning $3000)

做兵两天赚6块，
(NS two days, my slave allowance was $6,
while foreigners were enjoying air-con in office)

做兵三天赚9块，
(NS three days, my slave allowance was $9,
while foreigners had already flirted with and stolen my girfriend)

想要叫鸡还欠1块。
(I can only resort to calling a chicken,
but that's $1 too much for my miserly slave allowance!)

哎哟，哎哟，哎哎哟，
(Aiyo, aiyo, girlfriends for Foreigners)
哎哟，哎哟，哎哎哟。
(Aiyo aiyo, NS for Singaporeans)


I love NS.
My job for Foreigners;
My girlfriend for Foreigners;
My country for Foreigners;
NS for Singaporeans!

How many people died in SAF since 2001?

I got the following data from here:

2001(from theonlinecitizen)
April 06: MR Loke Ming (1WO navy) (2.4km)
Oct 29: MR Kwok Wei Ming (CPL Commandos) (Training?)

2002(from theonlinecitizen)
Feb 25: MR Tan Kim Keng (Officer cadet OCS) (Navigation training)
May 15: MR Mohd Shalan bin Abdul Rahim (LCP Reservist) (IPPT)
OCT 10: MR Ivan Oh Yong Hua (REC BMTC) (Training?)

2003(from theonlinecitizen, wikipedia)
Jan 3: Miss Goh Hui Ling (CPL Navy) (RSS Courageous collision, death: "lodged in between bunks")
Jan 3: Miss Heng Sock Ling (1SG Navy) (RSS Courageous collision, death: "mutilated bodies washed up in Bintan")
Jan 3: Miss Seah Ai Leng (1SG Navy) (RSS Courageous collision, death: "mutilated bodies washed up in Bintan")
Jan 3: Miss Chua Bee Lin (2SG Navy) (RSS Courageous collision, assumed death: "body never found")
July 21: MR Hu En Huai (2SG Commandos) (Combat Survival Training: Forced water treatment by trainers)
Sept 03: MR Rajagopal Thirukumaran (2SG Commandos) (Ranger Selection Test, 5km Run, assumed irregular heartbeat)
Sept 23: MR Andrew Chew Heng Huat (REC BMTC) (IPPT, assumed irregular heartbeat)

2005(from theonlinecitizen)
June 22: MR Tek Kok Lian (2WO, ?) (Routine run, heart attack)
June 29: MR Ivan Ong Peng Ghee (3SG BMTC) (Routine run)
July 14: MR Shiva s/o Mohan (1SG Commandos) (Rappelling Instructor Course, fell 20m from heli)

2006
Feb 1: MR Mohd Sufian Jamil (REC BMTC) (Organs failure after injection of anti-malaria)
June 21: MR Lionel Lin Shi Guan (LTA Commandos) (Training at pool)
Sept 18: MR Ambrose Yeo Chang Wen (PTE HQ supply and transport) (death:???)
Nov 17: MR Tan Boon Toon (2WO Senior Tech at ???) (death:???)

2007(from sgforum)
May 11: MR Fan Yao Jin (PTE storeman) (Taiwan Plane Crash into Store)
May 11: MR Isz Sazli Bin Sapari (3SG storeman) (Taiwan Plane Crash into Store)
May 28: MR Calvin Chow Han Min (LCP storeman) (Taiwan Plane Crash into Store)
Aug 26: MR Ho Si Qiu (OCS, died at AHM)
Sep 16: MR Cheok Beng Teck (MINDEF CIO)
Nov 15: MR Ricky Liu Jun Hong (CPL RSAF) (2.4km, though we're not close but he was my ex-poly classmate)
June 15: MR Quek Meng Chua (Senior DXO, Treadmill) (death:???)

2008(from theonlinecitizen, channelnewsasia)
Feb 02: MR Tan Yit Guan (MAJ, Logistics) (Routine run, death: sudden collapse)
June 10: MR Andrew Cheah Wei Siong (REC, BMTC Mild-Obese) (2km route march, death: sudden collapse)
June 12: MR Lam Jia Hao (Officer Cadet/pilot trainee, Airforce) (death: sudden collapse)

The Chinese say:

好男不当兵，
好铁不打钉！

（Great men would not want to become soldiers,
just as great iron would not want to become nails)

I think the ancient Chinese said that, because at that time, they were living in a dynastic political environment where power passed from father to son, Emperor to crown prince. When they had no say in how the country was run, why would they want to become soldiers just to help the Emperor passed on his ill-gotten power and wealth to his crown prince?

However, such words of wisdom do not apply to truly democratic countries like Singapore. In Singapore, power does not pass from father to son. Our leaders do not have any ill-gotten wealth to be protected from war. And so, when we do NS, it is for our own sake, so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for Singapore - a democratic country, for which we are the Master, and for which we have lots of say on how it is to be run.

Without NS, we would be overrun by enemies and would end up washing toilets and clearing plates at hawker centres for these enemies even when we are 80 years old. Our CPF money would be robbed by these invaders, and we won't get to see our money even at 80 years old. It is only with NS, that we can defend our way of life - to retire and enjoy our golden years with our CPF, upon reaching 55 years old.

Therefore, in the final analysis, our Singapore, our esteemed leaders, our democracy, our cpf money, our retirement etc etc are all worth defending.

For this reason, I support NS!

Only in Malaysia

Report says Malaysian judges sent to 'boot camp' for indoctrination
Channelnewsasia, 11 June 2008
KUALA LUMPUR - Malaysian judges were sent to an indoctrination "boot camp" and threatened with dismissal to pressure them into making pro-government decisions, a senior judge said according to reports Wednesday.

In explosive allegations made in open court, Justice Ian Chin also said he was threatened by former premier Mahathir Mohamad over high-profile cases, one involving a close associate of the then-leader.

"Now, though he is no longer the prime minister and so no longer able to carry out his threat to remove judges, the coalition party that he led is still around," he said, according to the Borneo Post.

Chin made the allegations, which were picked up by the national press Wednesday, before hearing a dispute over results of March general elections in Sarawak state on Borneo island.

He said he was targeted by Mahathir after refusing to award "astronomical" payouts in two libel cases in 1997, while a judge who agreed with the then-premier's views was promoted to the Federal Court.

Afterwards, Chin reportedly said he was packed off to a five-day boot camp with selected judges and judicial officers.

It was without any doubt "an attempt to indoctrinate those attending the boot camp to hold the view that the government interest as being more important than all else when we are considering our judgement," he said.

Cabinet minister Zaid Ibrahim, who is in charge of legal affairs, indicated he believed the allegations, and that they would harm the reputation of the nation's justice system.

"I can't say I'm surprised by the revelations. There have been many stories in the past," he told reporters.

"It is regrettable that it has happened, it is a bad reflection on our country. We have to make sure it does not happen again," he said. "You should not tell judges what they can or cannot do."

However, he dismissed calls from the Bar Council for an official probe into the allegations.

"An investigation will not reveal anything more than what we know. What we need to do is restore judicial independence and make sure such incidents do not happen," he said.

Bar Council president Ambiga Sreenavasan said the allegations were "both startling and damning."

"Judges, both present and past, must be encouraged to come forward and provide information on any such instances of interference so that further action may be taken," she said according to the New Straits Times.

Mahathir stood down in 2003 and his successor Abdullah Ahmad Badawi has been criticised for failing to carry out his promises to tackle corruption, which is deeply entrenched in politics and business.

Chin's allegations add to the pall cast over the country's judiciary by a recent royal commission into a sensational Mahathir-era video clip that showed a top lawyer brokering judicial appointments with the help of politicians.

The commission found in May that there was evidence of an "insidious" conspiracy to influence the appointment of judges, and the government promised to investigate those implicated.

Mahathir, who has fallen out with his successor and accused him of corruption and nepotism, has previously challenged the authorities to charge him.

His spokesman told AFP the former premier would respond to Chin's comments "in due course." - AFP

Singapore and Malaysia had almost identical political climate during the era of Lee Kuan Yew and Mahathir Mohamad; For example, the refusal to abolish the Internal security Act, the continual use of it on political opponents etc. That's not surprising, since the two of them grew up in the same political environment, studied in almost identical education system, and so on.

However, I want to emphasise that while many other things may be similar, the above newspaper report applies to Malaysia and only Malaysia. It obviously and clearly and surely does not apply to Singapore. In Singapore, Lee Kuan Yew has never ever subjected our most honourable judges to any boot camp, nor has he ever exerted even the slightest pressure on them to side with the government on political cases.

How do I know?

Well, I just know!

I do not have any evidence to refute any speculation that the same may have occurred, and is still occurring in Singapore. And I do not need to provide any evidence! Please understand that I am from a most trust-worthy organisation - Young Pay-And-Pay.

So, trust me!

Your women are my women

NS for Singaporeans.
Jobs for Foreigners.
Free admission for Foreigners.
Your women folks for foreigners,

for free!

my paper, Wed, Jun 04, 2008, Debbie Yong
Club mad

He had planned a night of revelry with friends at St James Power Station last Saturday, but when National University of Singapore student Matthew Rao flashed his identity card (IC) at the door of the popular nightclub, he was requested to pay the $20 cover charge.

His four friends - from England, Germany, France and Finland - filed in for free.

The reason: They were foreign students on exchange in Singapore, while he was local.

"I thought the IC was for age verification, but the bouncers said I had to pay because it was proof I was Singaporean," Mr Rao, 25, recalled. He was upset because the policy seemed unfair and discriminatory.

"Why should foreign students get different treatment? If they live here, why shouldn't they pay as well?" he added.

Ms Cheryl Khong, marketing manager at St James, confirmed its policy of giving foreign guests free entry any day of the week if they produce a valid foreign student pass. The little-publicised policy has existed since St James opened in 2006, but it only applies to Powerhouse, the nightspot's main dance room.

Ms Khong said the policy aimed to "encourage a cosmopolitan party atmosphere for our young partygoers" and added that St James regularly hosts parties thrown by local tertiary institutions and students.

Still, Mr Rao said that the incident has changed his mind about frequenting theclub.

"I like rules that are fair and open. If the club can at least publicise those rules on the door, then I'll respect them."

Why was Mr. Matthew Rao surprised?

Hasn't he, or his parents, or his relatives voted precisely for such things?

Look, if the government had implemented a Singaporean-first law - and then among Singaporeans, an anti-age discrimination law and anti-gender discrimination law - in the civil service, in the statutory boards and in the work place, all private establishments would have also emulated and toed the line even when it has nothing to do with employment.

That's because the culture of Singaporean-first and anti-discrimination would have taken roots across all spectrum of society, even in matters of admission to night spots. No night spot would dare to discriminate - even if there is no anti-discrimination law to govern club admission - lest it incurs the wrath of the whole society, which is already used to the anti-discrimination mentality.

So, this is clearly a case of 上梁不正下梁歪。You allowed (or shall we say, support?) the government to discriminate against Singaporeans and against the old, openly in the matter of employment. This foreigner-is-big, ok-to-discriminate mentality trickles down to all areas of society and now, even in matters of club admission!

Who is to blame? You, the voters!

So, Mr. Matthew Rao, you and/or your family and/or your relatives voted for that. Why complain?

You,and/or your family, and/or your relatives, asked for it!

活该！ Serve you right!

Gopalan Nair's supporters

My name is See Zou Gou aka 死走狗。

I am staying at a kennel on the Istana ground.

I am deliberately stating my name and location so that any of Mr. Gopalan Nair's supporters can seek me out, and sue me if they want to take revenge for what my bosses did to Mr. Gopalan Nair.

Now come find me!