Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The best place on earth

Singapore is truly the best place on Earth.

I know it first hand.

I know, because no where else on earth can I, a young Pay-and-Pay member, earn as much money as I am earning now, just by apple-polishing and ass-licking.

And the sky's the limit, as far as my salary is concerned! Look, with just part-time boot licking, I can already pocket $20,000 per month and $200,000++ per year.

So, if one day, I succeeded in throwing away completely all the moral values my mommy taught me since young - values such as speaking up for the less-fortunate, compassion, honesty etc - I could go full time and earn a few millions a year, doing the exact same job as my counterpoarts do in other larger countries with more complex situations!

I am working hard to achieve that. Give me another 10 years, to brain-wash myself and I am sure I can make it.

Thus, I wonder why 50,000 idiots emigrated from Singapore to Australia!
WHY?????????????

They must have been goondus who are rejected by Young Pay-And-Pay, due to their stubbornness in refusing to give up their moral values!

These rejects cannot get such high salaries in Singapore, because the money that would have otherwise form part of their salaries, have to be siphoned off in the form of taxes and GST and fees, to be given to us, the ruling elites. Hence they have no choice but to emigrate to Australia.

That's really a brain drain for us. I mean, after they leave, who is going to toil and work to supply us our millions? Luckily, our big big boss got a big big idea - an idea so wild that it has never been tried anywhere else in the word - we can import foreigners to replace those who left!

So yeah, leave all you want! You guys are being replaced successfully even as I am writing now. Haha!

And those peasants! who cannot leave do not mind having foreigners replacing their leaving fellow countrymen! Foolish of them, but good for us in Young Pay-And-Pay - it's cheaper to replace you guys who left, than to change policies to attract you people to stay!

More good years with fat bonuses for us! Woohoo!

Monday, December 17, 2007

When in Rome, do as Singaporeans do!

So, SingTel thought it was still doing business in Singapore where it can have "a high degree of discretion" and its customers cannot know "where they stood"?

Excuse me, this is Autralia! And in Australia, customers have rights and citizens are kings, not peasants!

Australian regulator rejects broadband proposal led by SingTel
AP
17 Dec 07

Australia's competition watchdog Monday rejected a Singapore Telecommunications Ltd.-led plan to build a multibillion-dollar high-speed broadband network in the country, but added it would welcome a revised proposal from the group.

The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission said in a draft decision that the bid proposed by SingTel and eight other telecommunications companies did not have adequate audit mechanisms.

The undertaking gives the network owner a high degree of discretion in unilaterally determining non-price terms and conditions for the 15-year undertaking period, "without independent regulatory review," commission Chairman Graeme Samuel said in a statement.

"We could not accept so much discretion from a gas, electricity or rail firm. Access seekers would not know where they stood."

But the regulator said it was generally comfortable with the pricing structured offered by the so-called "G9" consortium, and that it was open to receiving a revised proposal...

Venture overseas for F**K? I mean, it's so difficult to adopt a different mindset when putting up proposals to overseas governments who are actually concerned about their citizens knowing "where they stood"!

And it's strange too. Why do government overseas worry so much about their citizens' well-being, especially since it is about "non-price terms and conditions". Shouldn't they just care about the price, if they want to care at all?

Look, all those non-price terms have to do with privacy issues, freedom of information, individual rights, censorship etc, right? Hey, these are of no importance to Australians or to happiness in life, and so the Australian government should not care.

And even if Australians do care about such trivial issues, why should their government heed their call? Governments are supposed to listen to themselves, and expect their citizens to obey, not the other way round! That's the way things are done in Sg, and that's the way things should be done all over the world!

I thus conclude that either their governments are very caring, or their citizens are very powerful and so can force their government to care for them or face losing an election.

Either way it is no good! Stupid Australian government! I suggest our GLCs stick to doing business in our own country. Here, we do not need to bother whether our peasants know where they squat, let alone stood!

Friday, December 14, 2007

恭喜发财

爆竹一声大地春 霹靂叭啦叭啦叭
爆竹一声大地春 霹靂叭啦叭啦叭

春風陣陣 春風陣陣
恭喜新春迎財神!

財源滾滾!財源滾滾!
四季大順亨利通!

聽那霹靂叭啦叭啦
响得那个滿村滿街城
看那霹靂叭啦叭啦
急得百鳥都來迎春神

春風陣陣 春風陣陣
恭喜新春迎財神!

財源滾滾!財源滾滾!
四季大順亨利通!


恭喜发财

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Medals

Channel NewsAsia, 05 December 2007, by Chio Su-Mei
...17 staff members at the Prime Minister's Office received their National Day Honours. The medals awarded at the ceremony were The Commendation Medal, The Efficiency Medal and The Long Service Medal. The award winners were later hosted to a reception where they mingled with Singapore's top leaders.

A total of 3,822 individuals received National Day Honours in 21 award categories this year.

I have a medal too!

I am so proud that I wear it around my collar every day. Here it is:

Ain't my medal shiny and pretty?


What a well deserved reward for my excellent performance as a dedicated Ass Licker and Apple Polisher!

(Of course, I have also received other rewards, such as money and power. But, those, we have to keep away from the public eyes, don't we? LOL)

Come! Join me in Young Pay-And-Pay! Give up your morality, logic and sense of right and wrong. Call me Sifu. I will teach you the fine art of how to carry balls without puking, how to look at old beggars and claim we are helping them with higher GST, how to say "wiow, it smells good" every time our bosses fart, and so on.

Then you , too, can receive a medal as shiny as mine!

Just one catch: you wouldn't be able to pass the medal on to your sons, daughters or descendants. They would be too ashamed to be associated with you! They would rather nobody know you are their parent or grandparents! Anyway, that's if you could have kids. Ball carriers like us who bully peasants, usually end up with no descendants i.e. 断子绝孙. But that's a small price to pay for a shiny medal, I guess.

Woof Woof!