Please stop eating rice

Ever since the price of rice soared, we, in Young Pay-And-Pay, have been cracking our heads trying to find a way to help needy Singaporeans. But I was not worried. I told my fellow members that we could just sit back and relax, because our $3,000,000 multi-million dollar Ministers are elites and would definitely be able to come up with a better solution than we ever could. Even my fellow members could not stand me and called me a "super boot licker"!

But, today, I have the last laugh. Today, Channel News Asia has this screaming headline: "Ministers say needy will receive help to cope with soaring rice prices" (By Chew Wui Lynn, 05 April 2008 2055 hrs). I hurriedly read the details. Our elite minister has indeed provided the best solution to rising rice price:

Trade and Industry Minister Lim Hng Kiang said: "...Singaporeans now eat a wide variety of foodstuff – rice, noodle, bread, so there are always other substitutes."

What a brilliant solution! In a few days time, Young Pay-And-Pay will mobilise itself to promote the consumption of noodles and bread (non-branded).

We will be urging the kopitiams to come up with new combination: 3 meat/vegetable on your selection of noodles or bread.

So in future, when you visit your favourite hawker, he will be asking you whether you want pork, fish or brocolli spread on top of your bread. You may even get to choose white bread or wheat bread. But sorry, we have to keep it non-branded!

For sure, it will take some time getting used to eating meat/vegetables with bread. But that's no big deal; Sinkies are good at getting used to things. We have gotten Sinkies to get used to GRC, $3,000,000 salary, no retirement etc etc. i don't foresee any problem loading one more thing onto these lowly peasants.

So, my lowly peasants, dear fellow comrades, let's all support the "eat bread instead of rice" campaign!