Friday, August 24, 2007

睡懒觉


What is there to listen?

The bottom line is clear:
  • All money collected by the government is for the reserves/ GIC/ Temasek/ ministers' salaries.
  • Therefore, no money is available for senior citizens who refuse to die.
  • Therefore, to look after senior citizens, you peasants must cough up extra money, one way or the other.

Such a simple reasoning, even I, merely a member of young Pay-And-Pay, can understand in 1 minute.

No wonder our very talented ministers find it too boring to listen.

Better to catch some rest aka 睡懒觉!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Thursday, August 23, 2007

拍马屁

是谁放了几小时的屁?
这么臭!!

Can the one who has been farting non-stop for the last one hour, please stop farting immediately?

For goodness sake, our poor leader had to clamp his nose shut to keep the smell out!

But of course, others would gladly clap their hands in enthusiasm.

That's literally 拍马屁!

Hahaha!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

A fair system

“我最感激的是新加坡有一个公平的制度,无论是本地人还是外国人,大家都有机会在同一个起跑点上竞争。” - 两年前和父母同获新加坡公民权的总统奖学金得主刘晨之父亲刘洛生


“What I am most gratified is that Singapore has a fair system, such that no matter citizens or foreigners, everyone has equal opportunity to compete at the same starting point" - Father of Liu Cheng, president scholar and new citizen of 2 years.

I am very pleased to know that our Chinese newspaper has devoted a special interview piece to highlight the above message to their readers - potential new citizens from China.

I am most happy that our system does not confer any "unfair" advantage whatsoever to Singaporeans vis a vis foreigners

I am full of joy to know that citizenship comes with National Service liability but does not confer any special starting point or opportunity to Singaporeans.

All these means that citizenship is worthless and nothing pleases me more than that.

Now, all these may sounds contradictory, but if you think carefully, it is actually all very logical and makes perfect sense because.....



P.S. The above are the gist of this unfinished post. I will wriggle my way out and cook up some distorted reasoning to justify my joy and happiness later.

Sigh, being a member of Young Pay-And-Pay is not easy. Sometimes, logic and reasoning must be twisted so much and plucked out of thin air, such that it really cause me migraine!

So, don't envy us Young Pay-And-Pay members, ok! Our money and power do come as easily as you peasants imagine. Boot-licking and Apple-polishing are refined arts that require years of hard training!

And even then, right now, I am having a writer's block!

But no matter, because regardless of what silly nonsensical reasoning I cook up eventually, it will be published faithfully by the newspapers, for you peasants to regurgitate, and any contrary view will get no airing!

Ok, time to get my creative juice cranking.

Any suggestions?

Saturday, August 18, 2007

National Service


This is Stephanie Ko, one of this year's president scholar.

Taxpayers will be footing $500,000 (half a million), so that she can study medicine at Cambridge University for free.

That's because, in a departure from past practice where medical students who had chosen to study overseas received the honour of being president scholars but no tuition payment, PSC now pays half a million to each of them for their free overseas medical education.

This is how Straits Times' Ho Ai Li reported her background:
...her father, Mr Ko Kheng Hwa, 52, who also received the scholarship in 1974. He is now managing director of the Economic Development Board.


I am absolutely aghast!

How can this nutty reporter highlight Mr. Ko's exact job title at EDB?

In doing so, this reporter has done a great disservice to both our elites and peasants:
  • She has indirectly highlighted that Mr. Ko can well afford to pay for his daughter's UK education, thus making both father and daughter look greedy in accepting this half-million-dollars scholarship! We should not be make our elites look bad in the eyes of the peasants!
  • she has reinforced the impression that apart from a few exceptions, scholarships are usually given to the sons and daughters of our elites. This will make our peasants unhappy!
  • she has denied our peasants' the hope that their families can rise up the social ladder when their sons or daughters become president scholars. Such false hope is needed to garner peasants' support!

She deserved to be given 3 strokes of the rotan!

She should learn from her counterpart from the Chinese newspaper. This is how 沈越 reported:

许倩雯还有一名哥哥,她的父亲是经济发展局职员,而母亲则是家庭主妇。

By calling Mr. Ko an employee ("职员"), rather than a Managing Director ("执行主席"), this reporter has done an excellent job.

Now, that's National Service at its best!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Please stop crying

"Jobs for Foreigners, NS for Singaporeans"??

Please lah, that's so out of fashion!

Meet the new slogan:
Schools for Foreigners.
Leftovers for Singaporeans!

The New Paper
Day of Tension, Agony & Ectasy
By Veena Bharwani
August 15, 2007

AT 5am, he was the first to register his child for the final phase of primary one registration that late July morning.

But yesterday afternoon, halfway through the balloting process at Canberra Primary, as he listened to the names being called out, Mr Thangavel Pandi thought being the first was his biggest mistake.

Said Mr Thangavel, 34, an Indian national and permanent resident here: 'I went very early in the morning for the registration, thinking it would give my son better odds.

'I was the first in line and only after 15 minutes did more parents show up to register.

'But today, as I looked at them fishing names out of the ballot bowl, I thought since he was the first to be registered, his name would be right at the bottom. I started to lose confidence.'

He started to pray that whoever it was that was fishing the names out of the bowl would thoroughly shuffle the cards that held the names of more than 200 students.

He needn't have worried. Mr Thangavel's son's was the 78th name to be called out.

As expected, Mr Thangavel, his wife T Karpa Valli, 29, and their son Sushin Thangavel, 6, leapt with joy.


'I'm so happy. I had done research on all the schools nearby. I went to all their websites and I really liked this school,' said Mr Thangavel, a manager at Toshiba.

Registering early does not give any child an edge over another. All names written on cards are put into a bowl and mixed thoroughly throughout the process to ensure fairness.

At Canberra Primary, there were 96 places available for 255 applicants.

Principal Ratnasingam Selvarani, 59, said some parents started queueing for the waiting list even before the balloting ended.

'We open the wait list after the balloting process ends. But by the middle of the process, more than 50 parents were already in queue to be waitlisted for the school,' she said.

TEAM WORK

She added: 'The parents come in pairs. One is upstairs listening to the names being called, and the other standing in the waitlist queue. Then they communicate with each other on the handphone.

'So the queue gets a bit shorter at the end as those successful in the balloting process drop out of the queue.'

Those on the waiting list may get a place later in the year or next year when vacancies open up.

Yesterday, balloting was held at 73 schools during the final phase - phase 2C - of the registration. This is for children with no ties to the school, or who have been unsuccessful in earlier stages.

Mr Thangavel was not the only one who waited in agony.

Mr Dennis Olivera, 33, an engineer, appeared tense throughout the process, but flashed a bright smile when he heard his daughter's name, Denise Samantha Olivera, called out - right at the end, the 92nd name.


DISAPPOINTMENT

Not everyone was as lucky.

Madam Boo Sock Li, who was vying for places for her twin boys Kwa Yu Heng and Kwa Yu Lian, both 6, went home disappointed as both didn't get a place.

The boys were given one ballot card, so if one boy's name was called out, the other would get a place too.

Said Madam Boo: 'I'm disappointed as this school was my first choice. It's right across from my block. Now we'll have to look for another school.'

Over at West Grove Primary in Jurong, a parent who declined to give her name cried profusely after her son didn't get in the school.

'I just got divorced and I'm supporting myself. Now, I have to take another day off to register my son at another school,' she said.

The school was popular - 316 applicants living within a 1km radius of the school have registered for 125 places.

Some parents, however, appeared less caught up in the balloting frenzy.

At Maris Stella Primary School, balloting was conducted among 29 candidates for only two places.

Teo Hong Rui and Wesley Chang Wai Woka, both 6, won the ballot.

But when their names were announced, there was no reaction from the crowd of parents gathered.

Why? Both the boys and their parents weren't present during the balloting.


Can some kind reader please explain to me why Madam Boo Sock Li was disappointed?

Disappointed with what?

Isn't it our honour to give up our children's slots in our schools to new permanent residents?

Heck, that's what we 66.6% voted for: to replace ourselves with foreigners for the sake of Singapore!

How can Madam Boo be so forgetful as to what she or 66.6% of her neighbours voted to do?

Madam Boo should instead have walked up to Mr. Thangavel and said:
"Dear Sir,
Today, both my Singapore-born Singapore-citizen sons serve your family well by giving up their school places to your India-born India-citizen son. BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH! 12 years later, I will make sure my two sons serve your family again, by doing NS to protect you and your wife's safety, while your son is away from Singapore, having given up his PR to avoid NS! BUT THAT'S NOT ENOUGH! So, another 12 years after that, when you son comes back to Singapore as a "new" PR, in need of a job but too old to do NS, my children will give up their jobs so that your son can have one. Having no jobs, my two sons will then kill time, by doing more reservists and IPPT to ensure the safety and pleasure of your family! The honour is ours, Sir!"

Like that, then got style mah!

Geez, one parent even cried.

Why? Crazy is it?

To serve foreigners who have become PR, is an honour!

These crying and disappointed parents should simply treat this school slots issue as a "practice run". A kind of initiation for their sons for things to come later in life:

Today it's a place in a school. Tomorrow, it is a job in the real world.

Better start early and learn from young!

I think we, members of Young Pay-And-Pay, have a lot more to do, to educate these people to live up to their votes and not cry!

Crying will scare our esteemed guests away!

PLEASE STOP CRYING!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Woof Woof

And not everyone was a born leader, said Mr Lee, who recounted what he had learnt about sheepdogs in Australia. A shepherd had told him that it was critical to see if the dog was up to the job. 'If the dog does not have a pair of eyes that can look at a sheep and scare the sheep into doing this, don't try.' - The Business Times, 7 Aug 2007


He is the dog shepherd aka 老狗贼

We are his running dogs, aka 无耻走狗

You peasants are docile silly sheep, aka 小绵羊!!

Hahahahaha

I didn't expect my Big Boss to be so frank!

LOL!

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

A timely reminder for you peasants!

"REMEMBER your place in society before you engage in political debate, said Information and the Arts Minister George Yeo yesterday.

Debate cannot degenerate into a free-for-all where no distinction is made between the senior and junior party, or what the Hokkiens describe as "boh tua, boh suay".

"You must make distinctions - what is high, what is low, what is above, what is below - and then within this, we can have a debate, we can have a discussion," he added.

Speaking to reporters at the end of his Moulmein tour on the parameters of debate, an issue sparked off by the Catherine Lim controversy, he made it clear that people should not take on those in authority as "equals"...."


The above Straits Times report dated 20th Feb 1994 is most appropriately titled "Debate yes, but do not take on those in authority as 'equals'"


Recently, I notice that many of you peasants are becoming boh tua boh suay. So, as a good ass-licker and apple-polisher, I feel it is my duty to help my Asses and Apples remind you peasants, of what George Yeo said 10 years ago.

So, please, for your own safety, remember your LOW position before talking to us. You are not our equal. Far from it!

Remember ”what is above? what is below?" and talk to us with the appropriate reverence, respect, adoration and admiration!

"Remember your place in society before you engage in political debates" (I couldn't have put it better than George Yeo), you peasants!!!!

你们这些奴才,先撒泡尿照一照自己,别忘了自己的低贱身份,等到你们学会用谦卑,求饶的口气说话, 才来和我们这些高级人物辩论吧!

My Chinese translation of the essence of what George yeo said, for those of you whose England is F9. LOL!