Tuesday, March 27, 2007

MUST increase salary!


I read the speeches by various Ministers and became worried: if we do not increase ministerial salary as soon as possible, we will not be able to attract top talents to join the cabinet and those who are already in the cabinet will leave! Allow me to explain:

Attracting people to join the cabinet
  • Khaw was previously a multi million-dollar CEO in a private sector company, before downgrading himself to become Minister of Health
  • Tharman was earning millions as a ____ in well-known MNC _____ , before lowering his salary to become a Minister.
  • Same for Lim Swee Say, Lim Boon Heng, Mah Boh Tan etc etc,. Each and every one of them was earning millions already in the private sector as CEO, CFO, CTO, whatever O, and each of them reduced his pay in order to enter government.
Abandoning the Cabinet/Country
  • Lee Hsien Loong himself, if not because there is a few million for him each year, would have abandoned his PM post and his country!
  • Same for every minister - right now, all of them are already losing their mood to serve the public, given the $1M+ only base salary. If we don't increase it to $2M, their mood will be gone entirely and they will quit. Only by giving them another $1M will they be able to sustain their interest to work for the country

OK, so the above is my draft speech for our Asses and Apples. Now, can some other ass-lickers and apple-polishers please:
  1. fill in the blanks and details of the exact private sector company and position and salary that each minister held before lowering his salary to enter the cabinet? A side-by-side comparision will convince those peasants once and for all.
  2. publish the mandatory psychological assessment that each Minister took before entering the cabinet? There is no point lying about how selfless and upright our Asses and Apples are and how they are serving the people for reasons other than money, blah blah blah. Such blatant lies make it difficult for us apple-polishers and ass-lickers to do our job: help justify the salary increase!
    Instead, it is time to let the peasants know the dire truth - the psychologist has assessed each of them to be "money face". Not a single one of them is driven by intrinsic motivation such as altruism, patriotism etc. "Money is the only thing on their mind" - the psychologist has written. Therefore our argument that they will quit if we do not double their salary is supported by the psychologists! Once peasants understand that, they will have to agree with the salary increase.
So fellow ass-lickers and apple polishers, please get to work. I have already done my part by helping you draft the explanation. Now's your turn to polish my draft and lick it clean!

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Our Apple

She is the subject of our apple-polishing!
Why, she is the Apple of Our Eyes!
A rosy apple with two rosy red cheeks.
She is soooo irresistibly cute.
An apple a day makes the money go away!
Don't you love her too?

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Our Ass

He is the subject of our ass-licking!
Oops, why is our Ass being slapped?
Our ass-licking answer:
打是疼,骂是爱。
He is so loved by everyone.
Even President Bush couldn't resist giving him a tight slap!

Saturday, March 3, 2007

Our Ass and Apple

Alone, they are outstanding.
Together, they rule the world!
How can we ever resist ass-licking him,
and apple-polishing her?
This artistic piece of work is by
yet another of our admirers.
Thank you!